Random thoughts...

https://c.tenor.com/-1phYTnql_kAAAAd/tenor.gif

Black rifle mocha energy drink, get it, it's delicious annnnnnd.... 300mg of ccccaffeine!!!! Ain't that red bull under 200mg BS.

Let the game begin https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/015/575/Gendo_Ikari_by_Darthval.jpg

@rtae86 Indeed...

Made a monumental breakthrough last night through the grace of God and my gf. I finally stopped myself from having unnatural fears. The voices felt like chastising me last night so I decided to breath along with my gf breath to relax. But, thing about me is I feel like my darkness is contagious from looking at myself as nothing but a narcissist for all these years. I feel like the worst of the worst and that something bad will happen if I breath along with her. The voices was calling me ugly and I always just took it because I thought so to. That I am a ugly creation. But, I also have delusions of being so ugly I can hurt others. Delusions of Granduer and God Delusions. But, I decided to believe that I'm not so ugly and my fears are unnatural. And, I just breathed with her as she sleeped to pratice letting go of unnatural fears. That simple exercise I found applicable in many areas of narcissism so I made a major breakthrough. My God delusions took a massive hit and I can stop them now along with Delusions of Granduer. I don't expect to be free from all Delusions just this moment but I found a method that works greatly to stave off darkness. I can now feel when unnatural fears are seeping in and stop them before they effect my mind. Just by noticing they are unnatural fears. That's another win against narcissism. I also noticed even more that the voices are my enemy because God is not the Arthur of fear. But, damn do these stupid mfs keep causing me to have breakthroughs it's confusing. Am I just to hard to break that I inadvertently have a breakthrough from there information they bombard me with and think they helping me. Forgive me Jesus but I sometimes think duality is beautiful what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. All this darkness just makes me see home clearer thanks to my lord who strengthens me. This was a big one idk what to tackle next I'm just gonna pratice this one for a while. I wonder can I help some schizophrenia peeps with there unnatural fears.

I'm doing 2 things for work today and then pretending I don't exist. I just finished my coffee and usually I'm up for getting shit done but I'm so tired from working a 3 day corpo convention. Arc kept trying to talk to me last night and I kept asking him to repeat himself because I was so zonked out. >_<

They misspelled my name... Or was I always Garland, J.??? *Shock sound effect* Almost as funny as the time a substitute teacher called me Gabranth.