What not to do when looking for a significant other on the Internet

First off, watch this video. Really, just... just do it. It's only 4 minutes long. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvN6qApaljk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvN6qApaljk Now hopefully, you'll notice that this guy isn't exactly grade-A candidate material. Unfortunately, this is how not all, but some of you present yourselves on websites like MaiOtaku. Let me clarify that this thread isn't to call people out, it's supposed to be constructive in its criticism. So uh, with that cringe video aside, let's identify some of the things that made that poor guy look as unfortunate as he did. - - - - - - - 1) Overconfidence. Now don't get me wrong, many people suffer from anxiety and depression; maybe that guy does too. But his "luscious hair, gorgeous eyes, sexy teeth and great tongue for tongueing" is NOT attractive. It's pretty clear that Jared in the video thinks he's hot shit. Unfortunately, he isn't. Not... not much at all. To avoid being like our buddy Jared, you need to first and foremost recognize your own strengths and weaknesses, otherwise you end up looking like him. 2) Impression management. Our friend Jared in the video, first off, is not wearing a shirt. Not a good move unless you've got a sick body, Jared. Even then, you don't want to come off looking like a douche. There's no need to hide who you are, but rather present yourself in a desirable way. Maybe if Jared had said that he has a strong interest in vampires and likes the idea of them, it would've been better than "I find vampires sexy." I'm not kink-shaming here; you can be yourself, but just try to remember how you might look to the other person. 3) Being demanding. Good ol' boyo Jared wanted a tall, supermodel-body girlfriend who is virtually hairless, well-kept, and able to cook for him. It's at this point that you probably find yourself wondering what woman of that caliber would want Jared. The answer is: not many. Again, this goes back to recognizing your own value. What do you bring to the table? Do your abilities and strengths fairly match up to your demands? I've noticed that many of you ask many things of people, but have very little to GIVE back. Jared's cat Mr. Whiskers likely has more to offer to single girls than he does, unfortunately. - - - - - - - tl;dr - don't overestimate yourself. Confidence is good, but recognize what you need to work on. Present yourself well, but remember what it is that you're presenting. Don't oversell yourself, because all that it will lead to is disappointment on their end. And finally, be objective. Recognize that you're no fucken prize (if you were, would you really be single right now?) and be willing to compromise with others and accept their flaws, as I'm sure we all have many. Honestly I just wanted to show people this video haha, but this post needed actual content for it not to be deleted. Please let me know what I've missed, and what people should be looking to work on in general! The more feedback the better.

There's something I've been adamantly against for years. The whole concept of, "faking it until you make it" with confidence. Faux confidence isn't confidence. And as you said, neither is over confidence. Over confidence just makes you look like a douche. The point is to be confident in who YOU are. And you can't accomplish that while acting like someone you aren't. I've seen countless people reach that "how to get a woman," stage and continuing down it puts them in the exact situation as the video you linked.

There is no video. Mayhaps a link instead? Actually, on second thought, I think I'll abstain from subjecting myself to the Jared. He kinda sounds like one of those pickup artist tools. I think that the word confidence is frequently misused to be honest. When I'm confident in something, It seldom ever resembles what people seem to emulate when they attempt to be confident. You don't force it down people's throats. Its a feeling of trust in your own ability. A certain internal soundness that resonates when you can look at your opponent or situation, and honestly tell yourself "Okay, I got this." For example, do you see the only guy in the front line who isn't looking at the charging zombies that outnumbers them 4 to one? That's because I've been through even more hairy situations, and managed to survive. Therefore I take the time to attempt to relieve the anxiety of the girl next to me with some light hearted humor. http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c59/Rubberpenguin/My%20friends/387952_250486498334171_843955447_n.jpg That's what confidence actually looks like. I'm still in a nerve-wracking situation, so of course I'm anxious as shit, but in a way that keeps me sharp, not cocky. Long story short, we hold our ground, and don't loose a single human to the zombie charge, and I make a new war buddy with a friendship that still continues outside of the game. All because I trusted my own ability and the bravery of those beside me who didn't run away like the rest of the humans that were not captured in that picture. XD And also, "Fake it till you make it" only really works if you already have the skills and just need a way to push through CERTAIN types of anxiety (Namely where you tend to sell yourself short). Otherwise, its a horrible idea all around.

Totally agree with Gin, that guy in that video was terribly disgusting. This now is my personal opinion: I've seen gorgeous people with average looking people so it is possible to get a relationship with someone prettier than you BUT usually this people have either money or are NOT interested by the looks of their mate, just who they are is enough for them. I have always believed in balance in relationships, want a model? Work for it. Want a super smart girl? Study for it. I mean, why the hell are you fucking supposed to want all the best things for you when you're worth nothing? A lot of guys and girls should check themselves and maybe not really change themselves physically because not everyone can, yet change themselves inside. What's a good personality for? A good knowledge for? Those things are worth a hell more than an ugly and crazy pervert trying to get them all just because they deserve it. Excuse me, but I work hard on myself to not be with these disgusting type of people.

^^^^^ Word. I never understood why some people pine so desperately after those far out of their league. Check yourself before you make demands.

Well, then I guess I'm not human then. I do reach for the stars .. But not partner wise.