So what keeps you going?

What's your meaning in life? Your purpose, drive, or whatever you call that keeps you waking up every day? Is it Love, Achievements, Family, Faith, Money, could be anything. For me personally, I want to experience as much as I can in the world before I die. I'm even thankful for how my past traumatic experiences have heighten the appreciation of new experiences.

Science, even though I'm shit at it. Just the thought of being able to contribute something to that kind of community, no matter what it is, is very satisfying to me. Like, I could study a reaction, or an experiment for the rest of my life, and it might not be very relevant, but it would have helped someone. My boyfriend too, I wanna outlive him so I can make sure he's happy and stuff.

So many reasons. 1. I have an inferiority complex, this is because how great my father was and how much of a wimp I was while I was a kid. This inferiority complex causes me too desire to be as strong as possible, To help others with all their problems and handle my own by myself. If I were to give up then I would only be proving my inferiority complex correct, And I've always been spiteful to things I dislike. And I HATE being weak. 2. Family/Friends- If I ever gave up, Who would protect and help them when they need me. Even if I'm fine with dying, they wouldn't be, So until no one no longer needs me, I will keep on walking until I can't. 3. Faith, I'm very religious, I believe everything happens for a reason, The bad included. I believe we go through the bad to make ourselves stronger, or to get us to the point that will be our overall happiness. 4. Achievements, Until I obtain my goal, Which is to have a family and teach them how to survive without me. I rather not die. Plus I still need to become a killing machine, I'm getting there though.( What don't look at me like that, A good offense is a good defense) Put all those together or even just the first alone, and I rather live even if it means being tortured or being in constant agony every second, If it means I can stay alive just that one second longer. I guess most would find that incredibly odd, But eh, that's me. So its for both Love and Power.

I want to be better than my past. heaven is my destiny .

I had it pretty harsh growing up and the church was little help but I don't hold too many grudges. I stepped back from deaths door when pushed by outside forces. I realized, as any being no matter what they may think at any time, always has a choice to grasp the reigns of their own fate. I wanted to try to actually exercise it for once freely with clarity to see what happens, even if only in defiance to the world I was furious with at the time. It takes time and work and I promise with the right attitude it's more than worth the trouble and the cost of admission to the circus. I don't want to lose and I deprogram accepting it the best I can. I also like to free others when I can as I grew up in a world of mostly negatives and few reached out to me. I seek balance. I am a naturalist (not hippie, or tree-hugger, eco hipster) and have faith nature has always known better than us if we just look and listen. I am also an amateur scientist because it was the most natural feeling tools to understand nature. I am a small part Native American but do not claim it on any bureaucrats death-notes but keep it within. I come from a long line of farmers and teachers and like to see things grow and thrive in spite of their environment. Paradoxically I am also a technologist and seek to find a balance between these things as well. Sometimes I also derive a lot of joy out of trolling the fuck out of a system that works harder daily to perfect failure by using their own BS back on them in my own little ways. I think that's why I like the anime character of my namesake, don't let the pigs get everything they want or enjoy what they have already stolen. I would help burn down Rome and Babylon as many times as it takes, figuratively not literally, until it can properly build itself in balance with nature. If I was a D&D character my alignment would be neutral good with chaotic good tendencies. =)

My dreams. I live to achieve my dreams in life and be happy ^^ I wanted to give my parents a comfortable life where they dont need to loan or borrow money. I also wanted them to experience travelling in other places inside and outside of the country so I can see them smiling :) And also I wanna contribute something to the society that will benefit lots of poor people in the future :) And most especially, my dream of building a family of my own which includes a faithful husband and good kids who respects me ;)

The though of me one day ruling the world keeps me going. And if its not that its the thought of me making more friends, more smiles and less tears in the eyes of my companions. My constant optimism, to be that one happy ray of light in a world of hate. And the possibilities of my future. :3

My mother. She is the only one that really cares about me. Since my brother ran away she depends on me for her mental stability. I have no other purpose in life. I'm still looking for it.