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Falling in love...

vampire_neko
I don't know if this happens to anyone else but it seems like the older I get, the harder it is to fall in love with anyone. The first time in high school I came close to being in love with this girl, but 2 years later I fell madly in love with the previous girls sister to the point I was almost physically sick over summer vacation (Long story but it was impossible for a relationship so I couldn't tell her how I felt and it fucked me up emotionally for a few years). A few years after high school I came close to being in love with my 1st serious gf, but she broke my heart. A couple years after I met a girl that was almost love at first sight. But I was dealing with a lot of unrelated emotional turmoil from other events and felt like I didn't deserve her and left town with a friend. Maybe 4 years after that I met another girl I fell for who broke my heart. A couple years after I dated a girl I had deep feelings for but wasn't really in love with, but she broke up with me. My last gf I dated about 4 years ago and I had deep feelings for, I loved her but wasn't really in love with. She broke up with me for another guy who used her for sex for a week and dumped her. It seems like I can't really fall in love anymore. Like I've developed a resistance to the love disease. Or like a heroin addict who can never get as high as that first fix. I feel broken sometimes. Does this happen to anyone else?
buji
Jun 10, 14 at 9:23pm
Love is different for everyone. and after many fails, maybe you subconsciously are trying to avoid being hurt or rejected. Over time, you also start caring about more things in a relationship, rather than a pretty face. Another thing is you might just have more or less given up until that one person comes along.
yaasshat
Jun 10, 14 at 9:30pm
I think the main problem is that people seem to want to "feel" love rather than act on it. Eros as it starts and agope until the end. In other words, attraction usually comes first which should ( under the right circumstances) lead to unconditional love. Love is not so much how you feel as it is what you do. Just my two cents.
vampire_neko
I just do my best to go on with normal life everyday. Giving up or not giving up is a pointless concept which has no bearing on everyday life. Whether I fall for someone or not is out of my hands and only determined by the release of certain brain chemicals at certain times. I can only chose to socialize or not.
starplatinum
Life will suck the life out of you. It's not that it's harder, your just on to the worlds bullshit.
mr_ambig
Jun 10, 14 at 9:45pm
Love at first sight is hogwash just so you know. Relationships take work!
yaasshat
Jun 10, 14 at 9:46pm
Here's a key for everyone. Life is what you make of it. If you choose to see only bullshit, that's what it'll be and if you choose to see gold, that's what it'll be.Chemicals or not, at the end of the day you have to choose what to do.
amrodcalanor
Jun 11, 14 at 5:19am
I guess your expectations just went up since you've grown up. Now you dont fall in love with a girl that passes by in the hallway at school and gives you a smile. Now you actually need substance to fall in love. Anyways I just think that for you, they really need to make an impression.
vampire_neko
It wasn't easy for me to fall in love when I was young. Crushes were common but even back then I defined that differently then falling in love. But it's true that it's gotten harder to fall in love as I've gotten older and it probably is really difficult for a girl to make that kind of impression anymore. I feel bad if I have a relationship with someone I'm not in love with but I like to give it a chance in the hope I fall in love over time. But it's so hard to find anyone to date or have a relationship with in the first place because I have such unusual interests and personality; I have very little in common with 99% of the girls I meet.
myrhev
Jun 11, 14 at 4:43pm
I was in love once but it didn't work out. That has been it for me. I have dated some amazing girls (and some not so amazing), but it never felt like love. On the plus side, love makes you stupid and lets people take advantage of you. Still, would be nice to have a reciprocated love. Honestly though, in any relationship, there is always one person that loves more than the other.
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