Finding somebody

Tell me how do you usually try to get into a relationship with somebody. Example Do you want to be friends first and then see if it forms into more. Or would you rather it be dating from the start and getting to know each other.

For me I start out as friends, get to know them. Wait... wait... WAIT for them to show some sort of interest... if they aren't entirely awkward about it I'll know if they're interested. If they are awkward/confusing I'll ask. Then if they are awkward and they say they are actually interested I give them a chance. If not, I accept that, still stay their friend, and move on. It's okay to be rejected. Just imagine, this is the person you will be emotionally invested in. If they are being weird and say they don't like you that way, better early on than later when you've been focusing on your relationship with them for so long. It'll hurt so much more.

I prefer to be friends too and get to know someone first to see how much of a connection there might be. In the case of someone online I prefer to meet them and spend time in person since alot about attraction is biological. But I have successfully started relationships online. In one case, many years ago, I fell completely in love with a girl the first time I laid eyes on her. I still want to bang my head against a wall because I didn't pursue that relationship, instead I left town because I was dealing with a lot of unrelated emotional trauma and didn't feel like I was good enough for her even though she liked me.

In my case I usually get the hint too late. We'll be really good friends and have a great time and such, but the last thing on my mind is pursuing a relationship even if I do like them. It doesn't usually connect with me unless they start acting awkward, and by that time everything just isn't fun anymore. I'd like to say starting out as friends seems like the right path to me, but I've felt the pain of entangling my life completely with someone then it blowing up in my face (friends for 3 years and now we despise begin around each other). It'd be nice if I could get the hint early on that they're interested in a deeper manner so things don't get to that point, but diving into something most likely means it won't last. So I'm middle ground I suppose. Be friends but show interest seems ideal to me.

I show absolutely no signs of interest, avoid all eye contact, and speak to them as little as possible to try and look cool. Y'know, like Sasuke does to Sakura. Chicks dig that, right?

Friends first, but theres a difference between being friends and being "friends". Have to make sure not to cross that line to friend zone. So be sure to show them signs that you are interested in dating within the first month of frienship. @robscene It does work to a certain extent just dont come off as a douche xD Give them their space, keep conversation short but to the point and continue on your way. Thats how I got my ex. I talked to her between classes for a few minutes and would walk away and talk to another girl at a different table, would make her unsure if I liked her or not and eventually she came up and asked me.

I actually think it's better to date first hahaha. It's kinda similar with Jean Rivera in that that way you establish that you're looking for a more romantic relationship. But I think there's this kinda idea that gets attached to the word date like there's expectations and a date has to mean something. I don't view casual dates like that. It's just two people feeling it out. So I suppose I should say I'm all for the casual dating.

Ok time to respond, for me it really depends on how shy I am around that person and that depends on a few factors. I would like to say going on dates is always good but I first would like to know the person just a bit before I jump into that. @Missally I agree with you on this it does help although for me it varies on each individual if I take along time being friends and seeing if theres a interest or getting to know them a bit and then asking them out on a date. @vampirenek I have a little soft zone I have developed when it comes to online relationships. I usually like to start off talking and getting to know them through messages and such but then try to move on with other forms of communication and eventually ask them if they would like to go on a date. @Tiger I myself can switch between wanting to be friends first or just getting to know them and then being direct. Only because I can be pretty nervous at times about popping the dating question depending on the person.^^ @neko I do this somewhat but for a different reason its more about me convincing myself its ok to ask. @rob This usually depends if they fall into the tsundere fangirl category. @Jean Indeed there is I try to drop hints if see a connection forming but if it feels like there is a connection from the beginning and I already know them a bit I will try to ask them out directly. @Xueli I agree with you on that I dont like to think that a date means it has to be taken seriously all in all its about having fun and getting to know the person and seeing if there is interest between the two.

I agree with xueli. Date first so you know if you'll have the "spark" and if you're attracted to them. After all no matter what anyone says attraction is still important to any successful relationship. Its also easiest to establish and figure out first. So doesn't it make sense to get that out of the way first? I'm not saying don't become friends and only talk to people you could potentially be in a relationship with though. As for what to do? Actually make a move and don't beat around the bush like all the anime's and romcom's teach you to do. I see so many people here just waiting or the other to approach (guys and girls) but very few acting and doing. There's no sense being shy.