yuuzora

35 year old Female

Last online about 3 hours ago

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yuuzora @yuuzora

Jan 06, 24 at 7:54pm

If you need/want help studying Japanese, I can help. Also, I'm sorry you got stabbed. Glad you're alive.

20 Questions

Chocopyro @chocopyro commented on 20 Questions

Chocopyro @chocopyro

Jan 06, 24 at 7:39pm

Missed this one, but it also sounded fun. 1. Do you read manga? Yes, but I haven't for a while. 2. Have you ever read a full color manga? No. They have those? 3. Do you read in several languages? My Hirogana and Katakana are rusty. 4. Would you rather be a haunted potato field or a haunted peach tree? Peaches, if only because they are more abundant in etheric energy, thus the spirit would have something to subsist off of other than me. 5. Have you ever been stabbed? Yeah. Not Maliciously, but yeah. Like, a lot.

Chocopyro @chocopyro Armor mitigates the damage in training accidents.

yuuzora @yuuzora

Jan 06, 24 at 6:56pm

Aye. I don't accept requests unless I've either already talked to someone on here or they read the about and/or introduce themselves. I'm kinda a lot as a person... so I try to be less... I don't mean just fat. XD

Describe Your Ideal Person

Curly-tana @forgetmenot commented on Describe Your Ideal Person

Curly-tana @forgetmenot

Jan 06, 24 at 6:53pm

I would have done that, but I'm personally convinced that the majority of people don't even read them unless prompted in some way. Even if it be just mentioning it. So, and the few who actually do read them get to think I'm a freak LOL

yuuzora @yuuzora

Jan 06, 24 at 4:56pm

If you want. It's mostly that I feel like I'm too biased so an outside opinion will get me out of my head. Whenever you feel like it, anything helps.

Describe Your Ideal Person

yaasshat @yaasshat commented on Describe Your Ideal Person

yaasshat @yaasshat

Jan 06, 24 at 4:40pm

@yuuzora I'd love to be brutally honest, but I can only do brief snippets at the moment (Two rambunctious kids are keeping me occupied.lol). However, I'll gladly do so in a bit, if you'd like. Really, unless you see obvious flaws, it's all you and in a sense, that's best.

yaasshat @yaasshat I get it. Let me ask you this... How're you hoping to come across?

yaasshat @yaasshat Really, I think it just depends on what you're truly looking for from this site. You come across very matter of fact, which isn't a bad thing, just a very cut and dry thing. Ain't gonna lie, you've got a pretty face and you can amp it up with a smile or better ambience, think the Christmas one, just add a smile. People want to feel welcome, friend or otherwise. You give a ton of info about yourself, maybe a touch to much. Mental health is something that those who get to know you will learn, but unless it's immediately pertinent, I'd avoid that. You don't want to come across as broken and needing to be fixed. This whole thing is like a resume, but it can be condensed to give a highlight of what's most important. Honestly, it's very decent compared to most, it just needs a few tweaks here and there. But, I don't have a profile (Ain't what I'm here for.), so what do I know? lol

yuuzora @yuuzora Ah, yep that makes perfect sense. Thank you kindly. I didn't realize I would come off as broken to an extent, that definitely attracts white knights... As for my pictures, I'll ask my sister about taking some better ones. I'm very bad at taking them. Like, toddlers take better pictures. I really appreciate your help. Thanks again. :)

yuuzora @yuuzora

Jan 06, 24 at 2:59pm

>>This is me thinking out loud. It's dumb psychology shit, so proceed only if you want some bitter tea from a complete moron trying to fix the dead hamster in their brain. Also it's pretty personal, but whatevs, no one reads this shit. lol<< --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So, I have a tendency to over analyze myself when I have a falling out with someone. While it is usually a them problem for sure, it doesn't mean it isn't a me problem. I am an obnoxious perfectionist, and I am harsh with myself because I want to hold myself accountable and be the person I want to be................................. The recurrent theme seem that I attract people a little high on the narc scale/in the dark triad. So I have to go through and figure out why? So I did reading. These are the things I know:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ +I have/live with an abusive narc/sociopathic parent. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- + I am a deeply empathic person who has a bad habit of wanting to help before asking if someone wants help. I am actively working to fix this, but nonetheless it's a problem right now. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- +I don't like to assume badly of people, so I overlook my intuition even though it's never been wrong on this stuff. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- +I have crippling Imposter Syndrome, so a part of having low self-esteem, though I am ambitious as hell pining for a fiddler's soul. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- +On the narc scale, I'm toward the bottom of the middle. So pretty average overall. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So, looking at my About profile... I feel like I need to rewrite it. I give so much info or say too little and I know that's a problem. Which is funny because I'm a writer. So this should be easy shit, but I usually write about characters. Not myself. Hm... maybe I should write it like I am a character? It'd be a good exercise for myself either way. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Though another piece of the puzzle is I'm looking for someone so specific that maybe it's unfair. I don't think it's unrealistic, but then I'm me and maybe I have a bias that I'm not acknowledging? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So, some people read this, if you are, feel free to give your opinion here. If you need to know what I'm looking for I'll answer that in PM, since it's... odd............ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I can handle brutal honesty even if I'm a sensitive potato, I care *more* about being a good person. So I work hard to do that. Thanks, my hamster is still dead though....... x.x ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rose Mommy ® @wei_ying I understand in a sense how you feel. I have a habit of being very soft on people (not overly soft, I can be stern) but I always speak to myself very harshly, even to the point it seems I hate myself with the way I speak to me. And you attracting narc/sociopathic people doesn't sound too off, it's like how if someone is abused when growing up they are more likely to show sime traits like their abuser OR mainly date someone with the same attitude(s), I think in that area, maybe you are subconsciously gravitating towards what you know. Even if that thing isn't necessarily good for the rest of your health/mental health, of course I'm not trying to diagnose, I'm in no position to do so, just giving my thoughts is all ^^

yuuzora @yuuzora Definitely. The person who was helping with my About page pointed out that I definitely came off as 'broken that needs fixing' which definitely attracts narcissists/dark triad sorts. I fixed it with sé's help, though. So hopefully less of that. It's why I have not left this site since I came back. Honestly it's the first social media place that isn't completely toxic. Lots of fun and nice people. As for being harsh on yourself, it is a bad habit. I hope you're able to give yourself at least a few compliments a day. :)

Rose Mommy ® @wei_ying Yeah, I'm happy you seem to be someone who doesn't mind criticism or critique, you try to hear out people and that's a breath of fresh air. I know! I am working on trying to love myself more (not to the point of being a narcissist of course lol) and just speaking to myself kinder and with some semblance of respect ^^, it's a challenge but one worth getting through I know

yuuzora @yuuzora Oh yes. I care about trying to be the person I think I am, so that means being able to recognize when work needs to be done. You're worth the effort to loving yourself. The people around you can tell you that, all you have to do is believe them. Though admittedly that's hard than it sounds. And narcissists are only about 10% their experiences. Usually they develop naturally as they age. When we're kids, we're supposed to be self-centered, but if we don't grow out of that stage it becomes a problem in society. It's why psychologists do not diagnose psychopathy, sociopathy, etc until a person's brain is fully developed.

Rose Mommy ® @wei_ying That's very admirable how aware you try to be of yourself, practicing what you preach is what I'd say I guess? I understand not wanting to appear and seem hypocritical, especially if you correct someone on an issue but then you do/practice/tolerate the same things you complain about to others in your own life. That's another thing I meant to mention is that I get overanalyzing your actions and fretting over them XD, I do the same as I try and be someone who isn't immediately biased or will assume one thing over a person vs another. -------------------------------- That makes sense that they can diagnose something when they are older. I sometimes wonder if it's not that they can't see it in a child, but it's just as you said: "When we're kids, we're supposed to be self-centered-" so if they do see narcissistic/sociopathic traits they just assume it's kids being kids? Just throwing out thoughts is all, and I would also assume the environment they grow up in can possibly help determine the way they turn out. Of course as all things work in childhood, but especially with certain conditions like those, I do begin to wonder if a bit more aid in a person's childhood could help with their sociopathy and narcissism?

yuuzora @yuuzora The practice of not diagnosing children with those disorders does have exceptions. Usually cases where a child has killed/hurt something/someone. They're rare, though. While most toddlers will have a great sense of empathy, some aren't so lucky. It can take us a while to learn to care for others because of that self-centered nature. We are, after all, the center of our own universe. Basically every kid goes through phases and being a nitty little edge lord is one of those phases. Pegging a kid with a serious disorder too quickly can actually become a bit of a Munchausen Syndrome. Basically that self fulfilling prophecy.------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A small example is one of my older nephews.(adopted oldest brother) He was on his way to becoming a sociopath. When he was about 9 he killed a cat(largely accidental). Everyone thought he was a psychopath, but I stepped in and forced him to bury the cat. As he was digging the little hole, he started crying and told me he didn't mean to. As I sat there and talked to him, it became clear(and sadly still is) that all his acting out was a cry for his dad to give him some sort of affection or validation(toxic masculinity sort of guy, though he's improved over the years of me kicking his ass). I did talk to his dad, not much came of it. But from then on, he at least had me and the rest of the family as support. With us treating him how we thought he'd turn out, was part of the problem. So when it comes to clinical diagnosis it's important to be careful in judgements until all the facts are known and the behavior isn't linked to something more. :)

Rose Mommy ® @wei_ying That makes a lot of sense. Especially since most kids can pick up on things really quickly, you don't want to diagnose the kid with something and then treat them with things they don't need and then also get them thinking they do have it, especially with how trusting kids tend to be I can't imagine trying to forget and unlearn the misdiagnosis when you are older. And I'm glad you and some others were able to show some understanding towards your nephew and guide him to being a bit more empathetic, all people need (especially in the young stages of life) is some care, understanding and nurturing as we've been talking about ^^. I'm happy he got better and had some support at least

yuuzora @yuuzora Same. He became suicidal as a teen and I'm happy he thought to call me, since I was in the training phase of suicide prevention program. Now he's a big boy working as a handy man. He still wishes his dad would acknowledge him more, but he knows he's got people that love him as he is. Every kid needs just one person to believe in them, and they will go on to great things.

Rose Mommy ® @wei_ying I'm happy to hear he can be honest with himself about his dad. My twin and I were just talking about how we feel some people don't truly heal because they try so hard to deny the relationship they may want with a biological family member, I think it's okay to admit you'd love to have a proper working relationship with your sister/brother/mom/dad or something, and also personally fine for you to know you can live without it. In the sense of them not returning your affections (no matter how much it can hurt) won't stop you from living your life. I'm happy he called somebody, I have people within my family that have felt suicidal before as well

yuuzora @yuuzora Hnhn. I don't think he's fully healed, but he at least has support. Yeah, suicidal thoughts are a sadly common phenomenon. While I was glad to be apart of the prevention programs, seeing its limited scope is really sobering to the work we have to curb mental health crises.

Rose Mommy ® @wei_ying As long as he has support he can overcome the rest of his process, I believe in him ^^, I do hope he can continue to grow and heal more every single day while remembering to take things slow and patiently. I hope you and anyone else assisting in suicide prevention are strengthened by the lives you save and change, that kind of work must be very tiring to handle and see everyday. I can't imagine what it'd be like to be there if a suicidal person still took their life anyway, just, thank you for your willingness and bravery to help

yuuzora @yuuzora

Jan 06, 24 at 2:04pm

I'm so excited for this year! <3 Do you have any plans for Lunar New Year?

Ghost's office

Ghost @kuharido commented on Ghost's office

Ghost @kuharido

Jan 06, 24 at 1:30pm

https://i.ibb.co/8mD8xmB/FB-IMG-1704421545247.jpg

Ghost @kuharido I don't have any currently but something might come up.

Ghost @kuharido I have to look up if Dragon is a good year for snakes

yuuzora @yuuzora It is! I am a snake, too! <3

Ghost @kuharido That's good. Dragons and snakes would be friends I imagine

yuuzora @yuuzora My bestie is a Dragon. :D We've been friends since 2004

Ghost @kuharido my Western zodiac is Virgo. That's really cool you and your besties zodiac signs get along aswell.

yuuzora @yuuzora Mine is Aries, hers is Aquarius. She's pretty stereotypical for her western zodiac. What about your bestie? How similar/complimentary are you?

Ghost @kuharido I'm not sure about their zodiac signs most of my friends are not really into that stuff ^^;

yuuzora @yuuzora I see. lol. My sisters aren't either. But my bestie really into it. But you can at least say you have friends, so that's something.

yuuzora @yuuzora

Jan 05, 24 at 9:42pm

Ah I see. Yeah. I see what you're saying. Because even the nicest person can be trash underneath. Like make them fill out their taxes on dial-up and see what they're made of. Though seriously, building a relationship takes degrees of familiarity and getting that right away is in most cases unreasonable. Even if a person is brutally honest, they might also not be keen on talking about themselves. There's also the people who hit too many corners of the dark triad... they basically ruin trust for everyone else. I do wonder if they can be made aware of their behavior, but chances are that it just makes them a better manipulator.

Curly-tana @forgetmenot

Jan 05, 24 at 9:29pm

Yeah, but realistically. Never put any hope onto love at first sight. You ever play a game and farming for a rare item and it takes you hours on hours? It's like that but hours = years. I do take great pride in my luck, in understanding of its worth.

yuuzora @yuuzora

Jan 05, 24 at 9:24pm

Your opinion is still valid. If anything I think people listen more because you're a guy. And that is a good point. To be fair, I'm basically ace, so the thought of immediate attraction is a very foreign concept to me.

Desperation=Danger

Curly-tana @forgetmenot commented on Desperation=Danger

Curly-tana @forgetmenot

Jan 05, 24 at 8:51pm

Just a side note, people are WAY less likely to listen to my advice, probably because I'm not a girl, but so be it. Right. Now, I'm just gonna clear the air right quick. Have to disagree to the first statement, because every once in awhile... Love at first sight happens and works out. Like with me. Gives me the bragging rights, don't you think? But... for the love of god, please don't chase that fantasy. It's not worth betting on. It all comes down to luck. Now, luck and fate are often confused with one another, but let me assure you that luck is a perfectly valid reason for fate to play. Anyways. Dum-dum's advice works with more than just relationships. Think. How often do we me make mistakes because we neglected preparation? Even unknowingly to us. Trust me, I'm a huge procrastinator. I know how much it sucks. Always take advice for more than it's worth. You can find so much more meaning if you just take an extra few moments to think, even if you already know what you want.

yuuzora @yuuzora

Jan 05, 24 at 5:07pm

E, it'll just depend. What timezone are you in? I'm in PMT though I basically operate in two timezones because of my work. You read my about? It's mostly a disclaimer, but it's straightforward so you know what you're getting into.

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yuuzora @yuuzora

Jan 05, 24 at 4:36pm

Back in me uni days, I used to do this with the sharp end of my compass. (the kind you use to draw circles) and yeah, you do bleed. x.x

20 Questions

Ghost @kuharido commented on 20 Questions

Ghost @kuharido

Jan 05, 24 at 3:11pm

1. Do you read manga? Indeed, I do https://media1.tenor.com/m/W9eBzEo-0xsAAAAC/baobhan-sith-tam-lin-tristan.gif 2. Have you ever read a full color manga? Yeah, read a couple https://media1.tenor.com/m/wJbcatwT09EAAAAC/coloring-draw.gif 3. Do you read in several languages? Just English, haven't been able to pick another language. I have tried but my brain has a hard time with it. https://media1.tenor.com/m/neBqLCZD0SwAAAAC/slightly-angry-eiji.gif https://media1.tenor.com/m/5vKepoR-BLcAAAAC/sailor-moon-anime-gif.gif 4. Would you rather be a haunted potato field or a haunted peach tree? That's a bit of a hard question but probably a peach tree so I could be a peach tree in the Mediterranean. Although I am used to forests and urban areas so potato field would probably be more familiar. https://media1.tenor.com/m/5MMeGl5xaSsAAAAC/inazuma-eleven-go-inago.gif 5. Have you ever been stabbed? I stabbed myself with staples by accident. Does that count? Hurt a bunch cause it was on the fingertips https://media1.tenor.com/m/g-xYUYwqUXgAAAAC/pen-stab-nichijou.gif Edit: I should add that thanks to Google translate I have been able to read articles or find PDFs in other languages like Russian, Chinese, Japanese, etc. of stuff I am interested in. https://media1.tenor.com/m/O38iANxFRP8AAAAC/haruhi-suzumiya-haruhi.gif