tobitairu

I have Avoidant Personality Disorder, which is pretty much anxiety all throughout my day. It's difficult to meet people, much less date. I was, however, with a woman for two years whom understood the difficulties. When I told her I had AvPD, she immediately did her research so she could understand what to expect. That's a rare thing. All the same, it really is a major bitch to actually succeed at dating when you have a mental issue like this. One reason I am not dating anyone right now, whoever I'm with deserves more from me, y'know?

I kinda skipped ahead to the end here instead of reading through all of the posts, but that's because I noticed a trend I wanted to comment on. A few things first: one, I have been close to suicide before, and I have known people, very close to me, who have attempted it. Two, I don't condone suicide. Three, I think the motivations for suicide are vast, and it's a little off to be placing judgment on those motivations. On to the main point. I can't always define suicide as cowardice. For some people, life is a constant fight. You fight with your mental state, you fight with other people, you fight against all of the shit that happens to you. Sometimes, yeah, it's a simple matter that can be dealt with, but labeling every suicide as "teenage syndrome" or cowardice is a little off, because we can't know the full circumstances of what led someone there. I have a disorder that is damn-near crippling, and I have to fight every day, from start to finish, to feel like I possess some kind of worth. I'm winning the fight because I'm still alive, but it's been a near thing a couple of times. That's just from one disorder. What about people that are dealing with multiple disorders, abuses, bad luck, and physical issues, all at the same time? Someone who is mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted, and still being beaten down? I don't condone suicide, I think that there is always a reserve of strength that can be tapped. I can understand, however, when someone can't find that strength. Losing the fight isn't necessarily cowardice.