godspell

godspell @godspell Hello

Lamby @momoichi hallo

godspell @godspell I hope you're doing ok. I've just been dealing with depression

Lamby @momoichi Woo boy its been awhile, fill me with your life?

godspell @godspell 2024 tobey died. Had to be put down. His spinal disc was moved and bc of his bad heart he couldn't be operated on. His heart was overworked causing fluid to build up in lungs thus crushing his heart. We got his resuscitated but he couldn't last long. I dated the girl of my dreams. She is my best friend of 2 years. But she dumped me a month after before Christmas. So Christmas and new year has been depressing. I still talk to her. She's on the site too. But idk it's like she's pushing me away and feels like at times she hates me. She thinks I'd be happier with someone else but I hate that. I was told that last time. Why do people think I'd be happier with someone else. I'll never know. I have no motivation for anything. My heart not doing so well been working hard to get it better. But sometimes I want to stop taking the medicine and just let go. But I can't I gotta keep going for my made up optimistic reasons. I'll be wealthy this year. But I honestly don't care

Lamby @momoichi oh man, i was gonna ask about him too. he got to be an old man though, he enjoyed life. regarding the gal, if i had to mindread, id say she might just want some space. sometimes its hard for women to say things like that because they dont want to hurt your feelings, and it can end in accidental lashing out/cold snap in emotion. your heart, as in medical? is it dietary? cause stay on your meds of course, but a change in diet is like, key to stuff like that. drink lots of mana pots too to thin your blood

godspell @godspell Yeah even though he couldn't walk. He found a way to start walking again. He would go into my room even though he couldn't go outside to pee. He was pretending to be ok on our days off. And died the next day couldn't breath. He would bite me from the pain.

godspell @godspell Yeah she dumped me idk sometimes I don't understand bc it felt so contradictory. That she thought she was a placeholder when I meet someone nice. But she wasn't. She said we had no compatibility but she hates people as much as I but would talk everyday with me. I couldn't give her deep philosophical conversations. But it's like I like to ramble I like to pretend she's there and present so I let her know everything that goes on. What I'm doing. Also idk would that have been a deal breaker. Bc idk if you love someone wouldn't you fight for it instead of abandon it bc you'd never get it again. I know I won't date after her. Couldn't and shouldn't. It would betray my feelings for her

godspell @godspell My heart been having an irregular heartbeat. Then it quickens in pain sometime. I'm too windeded nowadays. They think it's cholesterol issues and shouldn't worry on a heart attack so young. But my heart feels big and I can hear it beat too hard

Lamby @momoichi you dont drink energy drinks do ya? *bombastic side eye*

godspell @godspell No never

godspell @godspell Not even coffee

godspell @godspell What you think of absolute batman on your wall?

godspell @godspell I also got into baseball card opening

godspell @godspell Sometimes I remember your last words to me was have I've been spayed