long distance relationships

-Amezuki- Wise words, thank you

Never do it.....been in to the distance will have have its strain on the relationship. Unless you are planning to move, keep out of them. Trust me nothing is more mess up then having to break up from something you can't really control.

-zerofivenosh- Thank you nice to hear that I'm not the only one who feels that way and has been down that road.

It works but it takes alot of time, commitment, trust, and sometimes money. The odds are against it but its a High Risk, High Reward scenario. It might end up something great but again the couple has to work at it together.

Pretty much what Geeky Panda said exactly. Look, I've been dating for over 20 years. And since I grew up on BBSes, virtually everyone I've ever been with has been someone I've originally met online. It can and does work. Story time; here's a couple real-life examples. I'm going to break this up because the crappy forum software keeps eating longer posts.

Back in 2000 I met a woman I'll call "T". She was in SoCal (Monterey), I was in the Seattle area (Bellevue). She invited me to an IRC chatroom she hung out in because we both ran major websites in the same fandom (Watase Yuu). We were friends for a while, eventually fell in love, and after that it was about six or seven months before she moved in with me. During that time each of us flew to visit the other once, and we talked every day in chat. On the phone a few times--neither of us had cell phones and we couldn't afford the LD charges. Nor could either of us drive at the time. After she moved in, we were together for about two years. Next there was a woman I'll call "J". She was in southeast Florida, I was still in the same area after T moved out. We met on a MUSH (online text-based RPG) where we both played characters. We roleplayed together a lot online in that world. We chatted every day on the game, on the phone a handful of times, and on (a very shitty) webcam once or twice. About four months after we got involved, I flew down to Florida to visit with her for a few days. Then, about five months later, she was going to be moving to Arizona to attend a vocational school, and we hatched a plan. Most of my stuff was already in storage; I put the rest in, gave my notice, and took a one-way flight to Florida. We spent about a week packing up her car, then road-tripped to Phoenix together, where we lived for about six months while she was going to school. Then we drove back up to the Seattle area and got a place together there. We were together for a total of about ten years.

Other relationships have not fared so well. And when they haven't, when it wasn't due to some fundamental incompatibility, it was usually because we didn't put enough effort into maintaining it, didn't have a plan or way to be together in person, or weren't comfortable taking that step--because unless you're just looking for a hookup, the endgame of a successful LD relationship is living together, or at least living close to each other. Keep in mind, all of this was over a decade ago. There was no Skype. There was no VOIP except expensive ISDN/fiber solutions for businesses. Most people still didn't even have broadband or cellphones, smartphones hadn't been invented yet, and even the Internet was still something that the average person didn't use much. And we had to walk uphill both ways through the snow to book plane tick... okay, that last bit is bullshit. XD But seriously. We made it work. Y'all today got no excuse. ;)

My bf cheated on me when I transferred to Japan. But then again he was already cheating on me even when we were together LOL so I guess it's not really with the distance but with the person.

-jineko- I am so sorry to hear that, he wasn’t deserving of you, cheaters are the worst kind along with betrayers.