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Unhappy in Relationships

the_geeky_panda
It happens, it sucks. Going through it right now with me, feel like doing majority of the work to make her happy and I am making myself stressed and unhappy in the process.
icelord24
I've been in that kind of relationship before as well. I had to give away all my happiness to make her happy. In return I was left there feeling alone and abandoned. I know how you feel, but don't continue the relationship. I remember crying so hard when she broke up with me even after all the sacrifices I made for her. I don't want the same happening to you. Make her feel bad about what she has done, you make the first step in either breaking up or telling her what's going on. No one will get anywhere if you just keep it bottled up inside. once you tell her, there's only 2 options she can pick from: 1.) Break up with you and never see you again. 2.) Stay with you after understanding what was going on and try to fix it. (sometimes there's that rare option 3, she will still be your friend at least.)
aoiyosei
Yeah it's horrible being treated like that. If your not happy you need to say something or it's all going to end in tears.
visualkill500
I can relate to this..only im female.. In the end it was a waste of time. Sometimes the best option is to love someone so much and let them be happy with someone more compatible, and obviously better days for yourself. Its ok to be single. IMO.
the_geeky_panda
The problem is she put a 1 month period of me fixing the relationship or else she would break up with me. Granted there are things to fix and they have been but at the same time its driving me crazy and making me unhappy. People at worked noticed it too. I am tempted to break up with her but waiting to see what happens on Monday since we will hangout. I told her I am unhappy about it on the phone but want to talk in person to prove the point.
icelord24
Just be careful. Don't try to save it if you have less than a 50% chance. It wouldn't be worth it. And for her to say she wants you to have a 1 month period of fixing it, it means she knows what the problems are. If she's not telling you what the problem is then IMO that's a pretty bad relationship. If she is telling you, and they're problems that if you fix them you'll be very unhappy, don't do it. I'm not saying to be stubborn and be the only happy one, no, but that's what she's doing from what you're telling us. If you don't mind me asking (you don't have to answer) what were the problems?
the_geeky_panda
She told me the issues when we hanged out one day, 3 simple fixed which in reality are on me but I was quick to fix it to better relationship. Basically it was hangout more, more quality time, and have a social life (yeh she is annoyed I stay in the house most of the week but fails to realize my friends have different schedule so its sometimes hard to figure something out), and minus video game time during our time which I haven't played any video games when we are together, I only play them when I have alone time. Relationship seems to be moving forward but in a weird direction. I have to literally (and annoyingly) think before I act on every single possibly thing with her in order to avoid making her upset now. What I say, do, etc. Its driving me crazy because I am afraid of doing something to make her mad/upset which is causing me to be unhappy and stressed. Whats bad is that she is going to have a full college work schedule in Fall Semester so we won't see each other as much. I will be back in College to do a class or two but I will still be working full time at my job.
icelord24
She must be really dense to not realize any of this. You want to have a social life but can't cause friends are too busy. Well you know, being on this website and talking to everyone here is still considered a part of your social life. As for the video games, I understand fully. I once had a friend who got dumped because he played too much video games and didn't spend time with his gf. Except this was more confusing because his gf broke up with him because he was "too clingy"... (wut?) If you have to plan out what you say next, as if you were stepping in a mine field, then you really need to rethink her. True, a lot of guys need to do this though, including me, but it's better to speak the truth and speak what you want. If talking how you want to talk is making her mad, then she's really messed up. Especially since from what you're saying it's like she doesn't care how you feel, she only wants what's good for her. :/ I'm a little scared for you of that last part. There are a lot of relationships that end up splitting because of that. At least a lot that I know of.
drako2k0
Wait....she "gave you a 1 month period to fix the relationship"?? I'd say break up with her. a Relationship is about mutual sacrifice, and she's putting the entire responsibility of "fixing" it on you. That's not how it's supposed to be done. Rather, I see the problem in her attitude. She doesn't wanna put in the same effort to make it work with you, thus the problem is her. And since the responsibility to "fix" it was shifted solely to you, you can guess what you need to do. I know it's going to hurt, but your happiness must always come first on your list of priorities.
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