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Getting to know people

animefan0071

Ok, so I honestly feel I saw a post like this here in the past but honestly can't find it atm.

Any advice for someone who is quite shy messaging people can try making friends on the site?

My biggest problem is I feel like I can never make the first move even though I know logically that's how it goes but mentally I can't (I do feel that some of that could maybe come from my paranoia) from the few small interactions I've had with others in other forums here I really enjoyed talking to but consciously I could pull the trigger on sending a message from the chat.

I know it might sound like a big excuse or pathetic (feel like I am pathetic) just feel like I'm just going to be a nuisance to people and feel guilty on it.

Sorry for the longer than needed on the easy enough to answer question but once I get going it's hard to stop (both online and IRL)

gabriel_true
Pic

I mean 90% of this website's user base has a similar dilemma.

Being unable to hold a conversation for more than a few passing memes.

So I wouldn't take it personally if others seem reluctant to speak up at first.

Hell, sometimes I get responses months after I posted and forgot what my message even was.

From my view, everyone lives in their own head. Only coming out of it every once and a blue moon to say hello.

animefan0071

Not to trying to sound rude but I'm kind of glad in a way kind of reading that, not that it's a good or healthy thing for us I guess but knowing that you aren't the only one in the same kind of predicament does relive a bit of the stress and anxiety.

gabriel_true

Usually the cycle you're going to see is a few popular accounts get a fair bit of buzz with some randos in the background recruiting people to their Discord.

People that go Discord rarely return here except to post a meme and then split.

Other than that it is mostly mods talking to other mods to keep the appearance of surface level activity.

Then you got me who doesn't belong to any group but creates their own fun.

Anyway, best of luck out there!

animefan0071

Thanks for talking to me about this man really did help quite a bit and that is a bit unfortunate but at the same time I guess as long as people are getting out there and with how massive a thing discord is guess it's expected in some ways.

criselington

Wait!!!!! You're telling people get popular here?!?!

animefan0071

Wish I could tell you man.

blissfullforce1818

@criselington
It's the algorithm which chooses forum members to become "featured otaku". It chooses to make some of us popular for some reason, even if we're not super-active here. I mean, that thing chose me around 7 times already ever since I first joined, even though I don't spend too much time logged in. Some days I don't even log in at all.

cac
Oct 28, 21 at 9:24pm

I'll probably never know how to talk to people.

gabriel_true

Well first you take in a deep breath. Then you open your mouth. While using your tongue, try to exhale various sounds that can be recognized as speech.

It must be said there is an acceptable loudness that varies from person to place. It's also worth mentioning that facing the other person while making eye contact helps to convey intention of having a conversation.

Make sure not spray it when ya say it either. No one wants to be in the splash zone. There's a virus out there killing people ya know!

If you do all that, you're succeeding at the bare minimum of talking to people.

Now to be liked while talking to people is a whole nother ball game!

Can't give any help as I have a rep for being an asshole when I speak.

Comes with the territory of being antisocial.

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