To date with similar interests/hobbies or be opposites in a intimate Relationship?

So, here is my two cents on this. You are free to take this or leave it, but this is what I've gathered from both my own limited experience, and what friends have told me from their marriage counseling sessions (they are doing fine, they just had an extra rough bump in their relationships at one point or another, every relationship is going to run into conflict at one point or another, how well it survives those rough times is up to how the couple deal with those times of turmoil). The most likely singular place for a relationship to fail is the first real fight. Though it is true that compromise is key, there also is a level of setting expectations early so there can be a level of understanding. If we are talking about the situation that your mother brought up, where she walks in and demands on the spot that you choose between her and one of your hobbies, that is a HUGE red flag. It is an irresponsible and childish thing to pull such a demand on the table out of the blue. For me, that would be a time to basically drop everything as soon as possible to have a serious talk about the situation, the kind of talk that determines if the relationship should continue or not. A move like that would also likely be a huge sign that there is another massive underlying and deep problem that is likely going to rear its ugly head on many occasions in the future and cause grief for both of you. Yes, a healthy and fulfilling relationship has compromise as one of the main tenants, but you also need to understand that most people don't change very quickly, if at all, when it comes to most things, especially if they don't have an important reason and the determination to. So compatibility is a key factor. Sharing similar interests does help in reducing conflict, as it does give you an added area of understanding. Everyone has certain things at their core, in this case, you have your Pokemon. Those are hard things to change. Asking someone to just give up one of their core values or passions overnight is like asking someone to change out their engine while they are driving the car down the highway at full speed. Again, going to the compromises part, they are asking you to give up a core thing to you, are they willing to do the same? If not, then they are being an entitled child, and even if they are, did they think it through as to why they want to force you to give up something so important to you? Is it worth it? The stability of a person's psyche doesn't do well when you yank the supports out from under it all of a sudden. On the other hand, you shouldn't strive to find someone that likes only the things you like. Shared interests and hobbies are important to make an initial connection, but you also need to remember that "variety is the spice of life". You still should have SOME shared hobbies and passions if its possible, since it makes bonding and spending time together easier. If you two don't have anything different, unless you are a narcissist's, its less likely it will work out in the long run. Though, it also helps if you and your partner are curious and open-minded. On why and if you should change for the other person. It obviously depends on the context, but it is obvious that change is going to be required for both sides for something or another, and on a constant basis. If you are causing unhappiness for the other person in the relationship, that is a good reason to at least take a look at what might be a problem, and take some time to try and understand why the other person might be hurt by something. Hell, it might even be that you really are hurting yourself in some way with something. Change, again, doesn't really happen overnight. Change also requires motivation and commitment too, especially if its a big change. If I had an SO at this point, and she had a problem with a hobby of mine, of course the first thing to do is to talk it out. I would want to know why she has a problem with it, I would then let them know why I like the hobby. How we deal with the issue in the end depends on the grievances from either side, and likely, there isn't going to be one extreme or another. It is the same thing if I have a problem with a hobby of theirs. Nobody is able to read the minds of others (yet), so communication and understanding are key. Of course there are times were one or both of us might not be completely thinking straight, so we need to keep that in mind as well. Maybe it might be best if you wait a moment or two so both of you are sane for the conversation, but make sure that you do actually get to it in a timely fashion. Remember, there almost always is a reason behind a person's actions or thoughts that makes at least some kind of sense, even if it may not be entirely thought through, or they might be working with incomplete information. Many people really don't understand that relationships require effort on both sides, there are going to be some times of immense lows, but also many times of euphoric highs. Those people tend to be the ones that wonder why there isn't a "perfect man" or "perfect woman" out there that will sweep in and treat them like over-entitled royalty, even though they have been in more "relationships" in that year than the pairs of underwear in their drawer, yet they are still feeling unfulfilled. These notes are a generalization of course. There are always going to be exceptions. Just because there are exceptions, doesn't mean that there isn't some semblance of legitimacy to what I'm saying. (edited, the posting and editing on MO works differently than I expected, I removed the original old post.) “Thanks for coming to my TED Talk” lol

Is your partner okay with you spending time on your hobbies? Can you deal with or even fall in love with their quirks? Can you be happy with each other knowing that you're not gonna enjoy all of the same stuff together? If the answer is yes for both you and your partner and you can both balance time together and alone to do your own things then I'd say everything will work out just fine.

I can't really find someone appealing if we don't have a certain amount of things in common. The "opposites attract" thing works for people who like to learn and explore new things about their partner, but sooner or latter all the mysteries get solved and that person seems to become boring if not frustrating to be around. I've seen relationships fall apart countless times due to the people not having anything in common, and I rather not make that mistake. I want someone I can share my passions and hobbies with, someone who I know likes and wants those things too, and isn't just humoring me. There's a funny sense of joy I get from meeting people who are on the same wave length that I don't get from anyone else. Such people are pretty rare though.