Mental Illness (Mental Wellness)

I do act really well on a professional context and even during university times I did usually lead group projects. Still depression and anxiety limits myself. For me thereapy did help me to get the panic attacks down to 50 % but it feels like this is my limits. 50 % is like nothing I had 2-3 panic attacks in a single day, now it is maybe down to 1 in best cases. Mostly it does or did kick in after work/university and meetings with friends and collegues. I did have multiple variations of panic attacks. The "normal" one is "My appartment scares me.. I need to get out right now...." I just usually walk it off for some time .. the second version is like the classic one... "I am stuck, I cannot get any air.. I think I am dying.." I do have some set of tools to work with it now but it does come back.

Another way is, if I see someone who harassed me in the past etc. and I see someone similar I am getting a slight panic attack. This usually leads me to leaving the place I am in right now to calm down. I do think I am doing a good job but if I am honest I am really scared everyday.

Bonhoeffer‘s Theory of Stupidity https://youtu.be/ww47bR86wSc

Looking at myself → INFJ Most neurotypicals looking at me → ASD or other mental disorder