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Mental Illness (Mental Wellness)

verucassault

A place to share and discuss mental illness/wellness. I only threw the wellness in because I'm trying to be positive about it. Silver linings and such.

Do you have any stories to share? It doesn't have to be you personally that has a mental illness, it could have been a situation with a friend, family member, even a stranger.

People may not want to share personal stories but hopefully talking and discussing can remove some of the taboo regarding it.

siruboo

wow dam, am i that mentaly ill? ver posts the same time i do shit. fuck anyways

siruboo

i was going to talk about this subject. too deep right now

verucassault

I was diagnosed with anxiety when I was in college. I always was an anxious person, even showed signs of it. But growing up rural, there wasn't many doctors educated and versed in psychology. I've also had depression as early as 9 years old. People in my family have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder/ manic depressive disorder and that has always been a contender on the list but I haven't been officially diagnosed with it myself. I've taken several anti-depressants but had a rough patch in high school where I swore I would never take them again. My dosage kept getting upped and it only made things worse. Finally, a doctor caught the anxiety part to everything. My anxiety feeds my depression and my depression gives me anxiety. It's an endless loop that feeds off each other like Oroboros.

siruboo

ya i had to take pills but at a young age. i was like 5- something i got good at hiding pils later on.

imsin
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imsin
This account has been suspended.
verucassault

@imsin That's my newest friend right there. Discovering and accepting the fact that I do have a bit of a rage or anger problem. I denied it for a long time because I spotted it in my family members. Growing up and seeing how they act, how they socialized together, I tried to train myself to not become that. It seems like it was unavoidable. I really do think it is linked to people having higher cortisol in their bodies. Higher stress.

siruboo

i always wonder if matt is around somewhere. it seems like there is a higher power around. matt killed himself. well i knew another matt that killed his mom and that was crazyy.

verucassault

Accelerator @imsin
Accelerator
29MMI
1 minute ago
I had to do gene swap test in order to get the meds that actually would work. It mostly helps my anxiety but I still feel dead inside. I still don't feel happiness. Though my suicidal thoughts everyday is downs to every few weeks.

So in college when they found the anxiety, my doctor wanted me to go ahead and get on antidepressants. The purpose was to treat the anxeity by treating the depression. I can't remember what she gave me but the pills I was on mellowed me out. They helped and did their purpose. I didn't FEEL like I wanted to die every day, which had been the case for about a year at that time. But at the same time, they did make me dead inside as you described. My friend (even though this was A STUPID REASON) begged me to stop taking them because it had changed me so much. He even said I was walking around like a zombie. I never smiled. I never talked.
But I wasn't in pain.

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