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Need love advice!

lilyyazawa
Recreating this thread. Okay, I need some advice from men/women and would like opinions or maybe advice thatd help. To start, I am very inexperienced with everything love. Honestly, I've never had a girlfriend, kissed a girl, never had sex and never have gone on a date. I've had a chance at sex, but oddly wasn't interested back in the day in getting sex so I didn't pay attention to her obvious advances. Now, being 27 and actually caring about love. I feel like I am in a really difficult hole. I am not desperate and have self respect so I wouldn't just date anybody, but am curious what strategies I could try to at least have a fighting chance. I am shy, reserved and admittedly awkward so I struggle with talking to people in real life. Added my inexperience and that I am nearing 30... it just feels like my position is going to only get more difficult as years pass. If I at least had experience to fall back on, it'd probably help. Im not creating this thread for attention or to be coddled, but rather legitimate advice that could help. TLDR: I am 27 and very inexperienced with everything love. Also very awkward. Any advice?
anji1999
May 19, 20 at 7:14am
Hello LilyYazawa! I didn't know what romantic love was like; I was fearful of guys and I didn't date much. Then I met him. He was so patient. I slowly let myself get to know him little by little. The more I get to know him, the more I found his positive energy to be endearing. His presence gave me a comfy feeling I never felt before. He didn't wanted me to change like the other guys I met before, he simply saw me for who I am. One day my friend there will be someone who'll love your awkwardness, who'll laugh at the same jokes and accept and learn to love you. Just be open to those around and try to stay positive :)
lilyyazawa
It's good advice and I am trying to stay as positive as possible. Saying all that really made me cry lol. It's just I always see people around me online finding people finding luck and I always seem to struggle because I'm pretty bad at talking with women. I do know somebody out there would love me and everybody has someone who'd love them, but yeah. Thanks. I'm trying. Trying to stay positive and smile. It's just a lot of emotions and kinda hard to explain over a forum post but yeah. You're right.
lolax27
May 19, 20 at 7:39am
I agree completely that it just comes down to meeting someone who you can fully be who you are around and the rest will follow. It’s hard to constantly have everyone else’s relationships shoved in your face and feeling left out I completely understand that. It makes all the difference being comfortable in who you are and just taking it one small step at a time, don’t compare yourself to other people when it comes to relationships because it’s hard to tell what is truth and what is fabricated. The most important relationship you can have is one with yourself. Slowly putting yourself out there is the best thing you can do, whether it’s starting to have a few guy friends, going out a bit more, or even just getting up the courage to say hi, it can all help in long run until you meet the right person for you. everyone goes at their own pace in life and does things at different ages. I wish you the best of luck <3
ahuman
May 19, 20 at 7:39am
This account has been suspended.
lilyyazawa
Thanks. I'm trying guys and appreciate the feedback. I definitely am trying and trying very hard to stay positive. My online friend suggested this and other dating sites and I've been trying to put myself out there. It's just my confidence always slips because I don't find myself attractive (I know that's probably unnattacractive in itself haha but im working on that) Also I'm bad at keeping a good flow of conversation. I also wanna work on my social skills. I want to talk to more girls in real life but I'm so bad at expressing myself. It's a hard path. I don't wanna lose hope because I have that hope and heart. However there's always a setback or something goes wrong and you realize that today wasn't the day either.
gundamu
Welp, I returned to this site out of boredom to lurk around and more or less reactivated just to leave me two cents on this. Working on your social skills would be a really good first step, though try to not to get too consumed in looking at your romantic experience versus everyone else's. Like who cares if you never had any relationships or sex? Everyone lives at their own pace and you're honestly not missing much by not having that experience, there will definitely be plenty of people out there who would listen to your story and not really bat an eye. I think the only time where a lack of experience becomes a deterrent is when you wear that insecurity on your sleeve for everyone to see, and insecurity in general is a massive turn off to any potential partners. You just gotta get comfortable with talking to people and learn to love yourself more or less, people will just gravitate towards you honestly.
swadian
May 19, 20 at 12:22pm
I'll cut the fantasy bubble and give you two choices and based on that I can tell you how to approach this. 1. To wait for the spark and "the one" 2. To play the game of numbers. I used to be #2, now I am committed to #1 Hence why I can give you advice on both spectrums
gundamu
I feel like playing the game of numbers would be actually good experience on how to handle things when "the one" comes along. I feel like without the past experiences I've had I wouldn't have even been attractive or seen as anything more than a friend to my current SO. Because she was initially attracted to my maturity and how cool, confident, kind and patient I was (her words, not mine lol). I was a much different person before I went through dating some of my exes and I honestly feel like I wouldn't also had the maturity to handle her personality and how some aspects of my personality clash at times since she's very sensitive and dreamy while I've always been more logical and grounded. So I feel like that was a blessing ultimately. Because she definitely does seem like "the one" it was just instant chemistry.
lilyyazawa
Appreciate the feedback. I will keep trying and am still trying to work on myself. My social skills is just a long-term issue I have had for a long time and I honestly don't know why I am so bad at expressing myself. It's really hard to explain and something I will save for another time. However, thanks guys. Definitely going to keep trying. Definitely wanna do it the right way though we have self respect. I do believe there's somebody out there for me and I hope I don't sound insecure. Well, maybe I am a little but it's more that I'm just honest about my shortcomings. I do kinda get sad/insecure sometimes, but I try to keep that in check.
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