Knowing the signs of a problem.

Figured I would share this story because of how off guard it hit me. I see others on the site have encountered similar situations, yet they never share enough details to understand all of the events lead to the problem. My story went like this. Back in early December I received a friend request from a woman. This woman introduced herself properly and was very friendly. She never gave off any kind of negative vibes while she asked normal questions about who I was. As the weeks rolled on I noticed her behavior became much more passionate. Suddenly the questions were very personal and even bridging sexual, but I wasn't entirely bothered. When I said I wasn't comfortable with something she seemed to take it just fine and was understanding. Now later on she started to reveal on her own that she had multiple partners. She referred to these partners as "friends" however "I" was different. I laughed and took no umbrage because in the early stages of dating one should be allowed to see other people. We were not really serious so I didn't see it as an issue. Yet I noticed that it bothered her that I was not being more forceful on the matter. Like she expected conflict and by not engaging in the bad behavior I was not showing her "True" affection. Being a man of reason I said to her that it would be best for us to be friends and let her figure out who she wanted to be in a sexual relationship with. That I didn't feel comfortable being sexual towards her if she already had partners to work with. Then she made the statement that if I took that attitude she would leave or stop communication. I again said that it would be her choice to take that stance. So eventually she changed tunes with a promise that her sexual conversations would stay private between us. Again I told her we were best to just be friends and not make such promise. Continuing to push the matter, she said she would keep her word so long as I would keep communicating. So we kept talking from there. I though had completely abandoned being intimate with my dialogue simply keeping to well wishes and general pleasantries. That was until her side grew quiet. Days passed with no response to my questions. Not wanting to be a bother I dropped talking completely. When enough time passed the woman sent a kurt reply that I was ignoring her as if not answering my messages was some how my own fault? Realizing something was not right with the lady I attempted to deescalate the argument. Still she pursued for an answer out of me. I replied that I had waited for her to get back with me at her convenience. She wouldn't understand and instead became irritated that I would do such a thing. Finally, the woman gave me the option to break off with her and go separate ways. I said that was ok with me. Thought that was it right? Well almost! This is the part where she started cursing me and making personal jabs at my character. She said I was too controlling and manipulative because I was not getting involved with her sex friends and instead moving on with my life? She said I was a horrible person because I made her feel bad about what she was putting me through. That said, I moved on, but let that be a lesson of getting involved with someone who has serious mental issues. Sometimes you have to walk away while the other person spews vulgaritys into your back like a hot knife. That was the end of that relationship hahaha!

Reminds me of this one psycho I encountered on here a little less than a year ago that started off friendly, but started getting more and more strange, demented, and crazy....it started with them complaining how others offered others help without really meaning it, how they neevvveeerrr give up on other people, that they felt bad whenever someone else was "given up on", and that they just "care too much". They start talking about how they apparently spent over two days talking this other user out of killing them self, only for the story to not add up, so they told the other suicidal person “if you say no one cares if you die or not just go and die”, only for the suicidal person to reveal their true colors and post something mean on their wall....after I called the user out and why they went so far as to tell them to go die, (even though this was definitely all a lie) they stumbled on their words, said they didn't say those exact words, and that the suicidal user was apparently as good as new the next day. They then tried to convince me they have "so much experience" when it comes to other people, that they can say some crazy shit that ends up helping the person in the long run....and how they do their veerrrryyy best to help any person in need. We talked a little bit more, they said something along the lines about "taking people out of subsidies" and also "contemplating whether their selfish and just doing this to make up for all the wrong I did in the past". When I confronted the user about their past, they unhesitatingly said they murdered a bunch of people at a subway station, she had a split personality, and that only around 5 of 50 made it out alive....they had this whole story about how they were going to get the death sentence, but then got a "last minute job offer", and took it, also noting that the police officers didn't really care. When I asked about the job, they said it was "classified"..... I saw enough at this point, so I posted a pic on their wall of out convo, warning others of this user of what they said since it could get nasty if this user were to manipulate or fool others on this site....they took down the post a day or so after and messaged me, apologizing, saying they were mistaken....and that they only killed 3 people instead of 45, as the other 42 people that died by pushing each other in a panic into the tracks....the user said it was on the news, but when I questioned them as to its date and location, they dodged the question and said the story was publicly changed to a train went off the tracks instead so "the public wouldn't see it as a big deal". I had asked a lot of questions up until this point, sparking them to say that the amount of questions was making them uncomfortable.....only to follow up by angrily saying that I didn't seem to care about how the topic felt to them because of how very hard it was to talk about, conveniently contradicting them self by saying they were going through other things at the time so they didn't bother to remember the details, despite all they had already told me. I tried to prod for more questions but they said they didn't trust me anymore, found it hard to talk to me after I posted what they said on their wall to warn other users, and that I'm just a troll that doesn't care about how they feel about that topic.....after that, they removed me and that was the last PM I had with them. After posting that warning on the user's wall, I get a message from a respectful user whose still around today (who was new at the time), concerned that we were both getting trolled and wondering the specifics of what happened, since even he agreed their behaviors and stories were off....the story she had told him was completely different too, albeit less extreme. The user was obviously toying or trying to elicit a certain response or panic from me and other users while drawing me closer to them and their fake story, that more naive and new users could easily fall victim to....the shithead didn't get banned and instead said they were going away for a while to all their new obvious friends....and closed their account....they closed and reopened their account 2 or so times after repeatedly posting the pics on their wall, with each time me contacting a mod about it and them saying the situation was solved without giving the matter a 2nd thought....only for the user to reactivate their account, finally block me, and thus further prevented me from posting on their wall to warn other users....the user continued to pretend to be sweet and innocent while my messages to the mods fell on deaf ears.....I check back a few months later and the account is still active....I check back now, and it looks like they're gone for good. I still got the early pics of the convo in my gallery. This wasn't the first user I've encountered like this....I confronted 2 other accounts that were just as manipulative in the past. So you know....what a wonderful site this is, where shitheads like this can roam free until they get bored and its completely up to the community to handle and warn other users of more discreet PM trolls like that.....AND EVEN THEN, since the security on here is still piss-poor (from my understanding, I mean, come on) since banned users can always just make another account or get VPN....where the administrative solution to trolls and sociopaths is to simply ignore them!!! Users have a problem you can't solve? Ignore them too or give vague answers!!! Maybe even ban them too if they have a problem with it! Cause that definitely shows the healthy user-friendly environment this site has and helps the newer users that get FRs and PMs from said trolls, basically manipulating and fucking with others with no consequences. This story's definitely the main reason I ain't really active on here anymore. From my experience, I felt disgusted being on a site that doesn't at least help warn others about that shit and instead enables it while expecting newer users to just stick around long enough to say ignoring them is the solution after they've already learned the hard way themselves. If this site cared about its users relationships, they'd focus on its security and being able to properly enforce and remove users like that....otherwise, all it takes is one asshole and a lot of time on their hands. If that can't even be enforced, why have the site at all?

I will say, AzureFool0, that story is distressing! I am sorry that you have encountered a person that is very mentally unwell. Even when it comes to a person choosing to be a 'Troll' I agree that threats of extreme violence or murder oversteps the grounds of a lighthearted prank. Keep in mind most that would partake in such activities are coming from abusive homes that they are struggling to overcome. Saying shockingly horrific things to get attention stems from anger that lacks a proper channel to disperse. I would hope that if such individuals did commit such heinous acts that local law or even National enforcement such as the FBI or CIA would step in. Realistically it isn't easy nor always possible to find such anonymous users until they leave a big enough paper trail to follow up on. Banning the accounts is most likely the only real option a website has. If it is a free one like MaiOtaku then oversight will unfortunately fall to the onerous of the individual users to avoid contact with or engagement of said troublemakers. To put it simply AzureFool0, I agree that such people are indeed unwell mentally and I pray they have some divine intervention that heals whatever pain is driving their actions. However I think it best to just look out for signs of trouble and avoid them. Instead I would recommend pursuing talks with healthier minded individuals for the sake of one's own sanity! Thank you Azure for sharing your story with me.

I agree with that Frank. Also, anytime a person asks for a lot of personal information, but makes it a point to not respond when asked the same questions. Instead they may choose to change subjects or make false promise of telling later.

@Gabriel True It was definitely all lies from how vague and vane they were being, how they contradicted them self and their story, and how....well....the police would hire a manipulative teenager that has Dissociate Identity Disorder as well as be able to cover up as FOURTY-TWO people falling into train tracks. I mean, unless other user's report them to the mods like I did....but what's the point if it's ultimately up to the community to handle such problems since the mods don't even help spread awareness or can actually enforce anything against more reserved trolls that focus on PMs instead of forums? To bad some of that divine intervention doesn't help any of the users that the troll fucks with. And while I know trying to avoid and be on the look out for such people is the way to go about it generally for one's sake....that comes with the problem of making it ANOTHER user's problem on here instead when that COULD be avoided. I mean, I don't expect people or mods to be all knowing, but it just pisses me off newer users gotta learn the hard way firsthand instead cause of some insecure fucknut that people wanna leave behind and not take seriously after learning the truth for their own sake, rather than at least trying to warn others when you're aware of the person and the problem. I'm very much sane, that shit just pisses me off. Thanks for listening, I appreciate it.