Lost

Depression is a bitch. First, you cannot sit back and expect things to get better, or have someone come "rescue" you from this slump (as nice as this sounds). You have to put in effort to make yourself happy. Yes, it will be hard doing so without any motivation. Just think and ask yourself what would make you happy. It can be any number of things, big or small, and it can be a hobby/activity you used to do when you were younger that you stopped doing, or just something new. Work on one or more of those things 1 step at a time. Don't give up. I've been through *a lot*, and things do get better. You're still young. Take care of yourself.

Ah, nihilism. Something I explored, then never succumbed to. I live that kinda life where nothing I put myself in really amounts to anything. I never get what I want from them. Just a bunch of stuff I was never looking for, or didn't really need. Try to get that job. Dead radio silence on the other end. Try to go out to meet a cute girl. Place is a sausage fest. Try to romance that cute girl at that place there was one. She's married, but I made good friends with her, her husband, and their two kids too. I dunno. I've given up looking for things in particular. Now I just don cool outfits, go out into the world and do things that are weird, but in their own way fun. Run around a con dressed like a D&D ranger while taking quests from people. Run around with a nerf gun getting chased by zombies. Get turned, then chase people with nerf guns. Save up money. One of these days I might decide to go to Japan or something. If my life is meaningless, I search for value instead. If I can't get anything I desire or something happens every time I make a goal, then I stop aiming for the end game and explore the rooms of the dungeons instead. Looting what looks cool, but always prepared to bash those mimics in should they pop out at me. Least that's how I manage my low key depression. I just find that when I stop expecting things, or feeling entitled to things, I tend to always be happier with the outcomes. There are a lot of people here that could relate to those sorts of feelings. We all float down here after all. But we're here to try to lift you out of the deep end, should you need it.

I think the joy in life comes from pursuing a fulfilling personal goal. Yeah, it might sound trite, but the journey is the fun part. Being atop the mountain surprisingly isn't, and it leads to staggering boredom. So I try to live life by chasing a target that constantly moves (and preferably becomes smaller and harder to hit as time goes on).

If it's not a phase, I would suggest therapy. I'm going to therapy myself this month for reasons, and I'm pretty excited and hopeful to be honest.