Burning out on Maiotaku.com

Maiotaku needs some kind of match system like Tinder for it to be an effective dating site. Right now it's literally just a forum board of people who are single. It doesn't give any obvious avenues to get to know anyone one-to-one. No weekly events or games or even some kind of online simulation of speeddating. So both naturally and creepily ANY kind of contact has got to be started through a random dm from the blue, unless you are lucky and manage to really hit it off on some semi-active forum topic. And while the reward might be the friends we make along the way, ultimately people (I think) are here to date. My suggestion to MaiOtaku would be disable open dms by default, and have a match queue of active users where people are matched by the similarity in anime they like (that's cute), and have it open a conversation between the two users if they both "swipe right"/"confess love"/whatever anime flavor you want to add to weeb tinder. Encourage users to upload real pictures (I'm a hypocrite, I know) of themselves too, so that the physical attraction is there. If either party decides to "unmatch" messaging is disabled. Disable profile comments by default. Only friends will be allowed to post on your profile, and friends are different than matches. All messages posted to your profile go away after a certain amount of time (7 days?) except those that you decide to PIN, which are saved forever. Hopefully fading messages will be unnecessary because at this point all the thirsty guys will be flipping through matches instead of posting strange friendly-but-somehow-unnerving messages on girls' profiles. TLDR; MAIOTAKU NEEDS TO SEPARATE PEOPLE WHO ARE LOOKING FOR SOs FROM PEOPLE LOOKING FOR FRIENDS

The solution to your first question is usually confronted by people either not accepting a majority of the friend requests they get or simply not responding to another's messages anymore, especially if the few first messages are generic responses like "hey", "how you doing", or "what anime you into". People who don't want conversations with a lot of people shouldn't add a lot of people to begin with, and instead, boundaries should be made....for an example, limiting how many friend requests you accept, setting chat to "friends only "rather than "public", limit how many people you respond to at once, or even add people that are within the same state as you. Hell, I know a few users that don't even add people anymore altogether after already having made a few good friends on here. It ain't hard to say to someone that you're overwhelmed with messages or are busy and can't respond instantly...and if they take it the wrong way or get offended, even though you probably just started talking or have only been talking for a few weeks, why the hell you still talking to them? Is that really someone you wanna be involved with and stress over? Some insecure dude that's so thirsty, they'll get mad you haven't responded in a while? Of course, this brings up issues such as remembering to respond to people. But if there are any users who get creepy and inappropriate, they should be blocked AND reported immediately. Cause blocking someone prevents them from posting on your wall. So, devising this whole algorithm just so only a certain amount of users can post on one's wall within a certain time-frame wouldn't be effective as much as it would discourage and become more tedious of a site to use. Cause some users that are good friends with each other post on others walls daily and in surplus, so I know that's an idea a lot of people also wouldn't like, as it'd greatly discourages friends from posting on their wall for shit's and giggles. Any messages someone leaves on another's wall can always just be ignored or even removed....and if they become a problem, they can be blocked. I entirely agree that users shouldn't be afraid to unfriend and block users who are clearly thirsty. But a dating site that sets restrictions on how much one can talk to who and who can add who, would be a huge disaster. Maybe it'd work for new dating sites that are an app, but a big transformation like that on this site would definitely cause more harm than good and be more trouble than its worth. This place is more of an old-fashioned style dating site that has the user's doing all the work, with little to work with, rather than having some kind of games or activities to drag people in....but people keep joining and mingling all the same. The questions you asked, in my opinion, are more a problem with the community/individuals, both female and male alike....while I do think things like the security of this site are completely fucked, why should a mod have to make your boundaries and standards for you, and make a whole algorithm that limits conversation? What if a user that's a good match wanted to reply but couldn't due to the algorithm? Cause it's not like they'd know you were a good match to begin with, so it'll result in them continuing to talk with the people they currently are, forgetting all about the said good match they couldn't chat up. Problems like that would arise and take away a lot of the connections (no matter how toxic some it may be) and freedom on this site, even though thirsty users can already be combated by individual boundaries, not responding, or by blocking them....while trolls can be ignored and reported (even if the security is fucked) and they'll get bored eventually. Overall, TL;DR: users who deactivate their accounts and feel overwhelmed by others shouldn't be adding or responding to that many people to begin with....cause if they were people worth keeping around, it shouldn't be a problem to let them know that you're getting blown up with messages and can't respond instantly. Mods shouldn't have to make a system that limits the freedom of how much people can talk to a user, hence giving artificial boundaries to users who add too many people to begin with, while also taking away the liberty of freely posting on someone's wall, limiting how many people can communicate with the people who know better than that. Thirsty users that care more for affection, attention, and looks rather than getting to know who you are, befriending you, and respecting you, should be starved, ignored, and blocked, end of discussion.

@Tbaris All you did was give your biological hypothesis on why men are more likely to pursue women, and then make a deduction off of said hypothesis....which about holds about as much validation and logic as if I said women are more biologically common to be sensitive and emotional than men, therefore it can be deduced that the females that add to many people on this site are possibly just being hypersensitive and insecure....when this is a problem more to do with psychology/sociology than it does biology. Or maybe I'm just biologically more inclined to be aggressive and sarcastic since I'm a male that thinks you're just making up abbreviations like TMD on the spot and using more complex terminology to make yourself sound smarter and enigmatic?? Cause, all I saw in that message was your biological hypothesis explaining why you think it happens rather than anything close resembling a solution to a sociological problem, so if I sound pretentious, it's cause I heard more random information and deduction lacking data that doesn't hold value in this topic.

@judgmentoftherain But they already do have that option....it just ain't their option who decides to message them (unless they have chat on friends instead of public or block them)...but it is an individual choice on whether they decide to actually continue talking to the person or not though. Traffic is a good thing. It means the site is active, but at the same time, means there are probably gonna be a few of them that are thirsty. But, there ARE options to slow down traffic on a channel....blocking or simply not responding to them...or again, just being honest and saying they can't keep up with the messages, as I've seen plenty of people do over the years. Any actual systematic solutions mods could implement to slow down traffic for ANY users, even if it were optional, would end up hurting the free communication on this site more than helping its users....the only other way to slow traffic is for the site to die and not get a lot of new users, leaving what's left in a more quite environment. Having a systematic artificial boundary created by the mods to decrease traffic and communication for a problem that many users, male and female alike encounter, would more decrease how many people they can meet than help prevent females still encountering thirsty dudes. The system to slow traffic down, is to, again, simply not respond to them and limit how many friends you have/accept, as well as block anyone that won't leave you alone if it's becoming that big of an issue. Using mods as a parent and a user as their daughter as an example....you don't prevent your daughter from talking to all the boys, except the ones you like, just to protect her....then you're not protecting her, you're making her naive....and that's far more dangerous....instead, guide and nudge her along, and let her find the difference between one's she can trust and talk to....and the one's who aren't worth her time and are creepy to her....anndddd when it gets too much and people won't leave you alone, you either let them know you're overwhelmed, don't respond, or block them. Otherwise, you're just showing you don't trust others or her to make her own judgments. Cause even if she's inexperienced and naive, putting harsh restrictions down and trying to hold off the inevitable rather than let them experience the world won't protect her as much as it will make her blind to it....and THAT is far more dangerous of a thing. There's no one stopping users from blocking and not responding to others....they just gotta learn to use it rather than blame the site's lack of innovation. Traffic's only a problem if you make it an issue by making it your responsibility to respond to your 15+ friends you don't wanna stop talking to cause it'd be "rude"....so instead, people deactivate their account or just stress themselves over it when all they have to do is to (again) 1. Not to talk to that many people to begin with 2. Limit who they add to their friends list 3. Learn it's fine to not respond or deny become friends if you're busy or don't have time 4. Block them if they don't respect your boundaries or keep posting on their wall One boasts learning healthy individual boundaries that confront and beat needless stress....and the other boasts an (optional) algorithm on radical systematic boundaries that limit who can talk to you, when you can just do that yourself? That whole system basically screams, "you're too naive to choose who and how many people you can talk to, so let us step in instead! You're much safer this way and it's completely optional!" A better tomorrow won't be reached with build-in restrictions, but with self-improvement and learning. Conflict and problems are a way of gaining that experience, and are inevitable. Making it so users have limited communication, even if its optional, and trying to solve their lack of boundaries and self-respect for them, is a waste of experience and meaningless, when they could be learning themselves to not add so many people to begin with and stress over the many people who they haven't responded to, like they have something to prove. They have all the options they need...they just need the experience and boundaries to start enforcing them. If you don't want users being subjugated to such a situation, give them advice yourself and help them out even....cause trying to prevent situations like that through enforcing restrictions, just makes it all for naught. Cause then some people will start clinging to that system for a solution they CAN solve themselves, but WON'T...making them even more naive...cause the system favors convenience over individual growth. There's no stopping how there will be people who are naive and don't know any better. World's full of 'em, and creating systems to replace individuals boundaries in an attempt to make life easier around here for such people, is just arrogantly irresponsible and misleading, since EVERYONE should make their own boundaries and learn what that means....you'd just be shoving it down their throat cause you say you know better. People need to learn for themselves their worth and not to overwhelm themselves....systems that try to make it otherwise by preventing experiences like that are shitting on people's freedom to suffer, learn to be better, and ability to make their own judgments and confront obstacles. Should this obstacle be met with a complex algorithm solving it for me??? Orrrrr should I realize I shouldn't have talked to so many people to begin with??? A whole system shouldn't be made just to prevent the people who keep trying to talk to 15+ people and won't admit it's too much for them to handle, when the solution is incredibly simple. People are different and will handle situations and obstacles differently, sometimes not in a smart way. That's something that will never change as long as people have freedom. Some learn, others don't. Some people have or meet people that help them, other's don't. Hell, I know of a few current active users on here who go as far as completely dissociate, solely only wanting to find partners to lewd RP with, that resemble their waifus. All sorts of people with insecurities and disorders around who want friends or a relationship but don't wanna change, try to live a fantasy, or try to be something else....scared of even considering maybe their the one with the problem....so they leave, get bored, make drama, blame others, blame the site, openly indulge in self-pity....it can get pretty nasty. TD;DR: So yes, I completely agree that it is irrational and unhealthy to talk to 15+ people at once, which is a problem on sites like these....but that's a problem they caused and a lesson people need to learn from and NOT be prevented by a system...cause tip-toeing around people with systems that limit communication when all a person has to do is not respond and not talk to that many people to begin with is primitive. I know I've repeated that A LOT but, it's important. Cause meeting thirsty and undesirable people is inevitable in the world. People won't learn anything if this sites adopts an algorithm tailoring to their needs when they could just learn that themselves. Or should we have machinery replace all the hard-labor in the world while humans stay safe, entertained, and comfortable? Should we let complex algorithms and systems protect us from our own judgments and decisions since there will always be people who don't know better? With wisdom and experience, there are somethings it can be used for to prevent shitty things from happening to you and guide you through life....but with others, they need to learn for themselves and be taught things rather than minimizing or preventing them from encountering certain experiences.