Comedy Rating

Everyone likes a good joke, funny story, etc. Share some funnies you think will please the crowd and see how you get rated. Forwarned, a thread like this isnt good for those easily offended, so before you look at anything someone posts, please be able to handle a joke. With this said dont worry about pissing people off and fire away!

There's a pick up line I find hilarious xD "Can I be your termite? Coz I wanna eat your wood tonight." Idk it was pretty funny for me during that time.

Well if you wanted joke then here is something: "I was on my way to the airport with my dad me and him had breakfast we had the whole feeling of having that " five Star treatment" but then when it came down to going to sit and I were assigned seats on the plane. I saw a hot woman sitting in my see so I was texting my dad to find another seat. He text me where? I text him that I don't care where because I need him to be my wingman but he insisted on staying in the seat and when she gave me that look at said mean you in this seat motion in the ocean I was like yeah you got to go somewhere as you don't have to get off the plane but you can't stay here.

you can call me ray or you can call me jay just dont call me washed up i do three acts a day! https://media.giphy.com/media/142UITjG5GjIRi/giphy.gif

I suck at jokes, but this one is my fav. There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, “Momma, why is my name Rose?” The mommy cow replies, “Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born.” The next calf comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Lily?” The mother replies, “Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born.” The third baby comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Daisy?” The momma cow again replies" Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, “Huh Ruh Buh Duh!” The momma cow says, “Shut up, Cinderblock!”

Extra points for jazz hands. Rayelight thats definetely a 7 xD i laughed out loud