Vent

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i fucking hate myself so much, i just wanna scream sometimes. Why can i never make up my mind until its too fucking late. Why always me man, just why. For fucks sake im just getting too tired of this day to day bs, where i sit and think about "what if's" and realize shit wasn't bad before but i am so stubborn i cant see it. The sad thing is i will never learn....i know i wont and it sucks...

It was successful for me to help my big sister with her court case as well as getting a big paycheck, but for days, with a very sensitive heart and difficulty forgetting agonizing parts of my life, I became very irritable and depressed during both jobs thinking about neglecting my family for their misunderstandings and demotivations against me.

Can you just stop putting a front already? I would've just ignored or tell him/her to fk off. If you were telling the truth that is.. Saying you guys are great friends then The next week saying you hate him/her. what is it really?

For 30 years, I've been stuck with old and disabled people while Millennials either misunderstanding or demotivating/hating me. Parents seem to make things worse. I get easily overwhelmed and confused, as well as stressed out by anyone not letting me finish my speech to the part they would bring up sooner or incorrectly speculate. My mother adores way too much it's not healthy. Father as a Vietnam War veteran has that war making him harsh enough to hurt my feelings even if I didn't do anything wrong. @Excaliborg It's mainly my work days and caffeine that bring those bad thoughts in my mind up.

Quite a few times when I'm really agitated/mad at work people bug me and constantly request my help, but when I smile and act nice people usually keep away from me. It's supposed to be in reverse y'all.

Why cant you just leave me alone? You only bring up bad memories and i know if i reply it will just make more... Idc if we are family im done, I dont need to support your addiction anymore, you already started messaging my friends you dont know asking for money and embarrassed the living shit out of me. Now everyone knows how fucked up my family is... something ive tried so hard to keep hidden. Just stay out of my life, Im sorry but I cant take it anymore, just stay away.