Random thoughts...

Nah. I miss the early 2000's going to Denny's in the middle of the night with coworkers, sipping on coffee, smoking cigarettes (They still had a smoking "section". Not exactly separate, just section of tables dedicated for smoking.lol) eating greasy food and shooting the shit for an hour or two.

I don't know what to do anymore. Feels like one of those hold the line type of years for me. I'm getting no where fast, but I trust Christ to put me wherever I'm needed. Least that's how I'm approaching life right now. I am worried for my brother though. Apparently we lost another relative that he was personally close with. I wasn't familiar with this particular cousin, so I can only relate through how defeated my brother sounded over the loss. One thing that sparked a flare of frustration in me was learning said cousin joined the list of other relatives that chose the easy way out of life. The greatest lie ever told being there is an easy way out. Plus that person never factors the collateral damage to others attached to them. Or how their unnecessary absence takes a toll on someone else. All this to say, I morn not for the dead, but the living. It's also a reminder why I will never make such a careless decision no matter how painful life may be. People count on me even when we don't talk. Don't hang out. Don't see each other for years. Then boom! Someone shows up at the door to say, "Thank you for having been my friend. I never forgot you and I do think of you from time to time and that motivated me to keep going." Because I am grateful and understand the pain of loss I continue to live for them. Christ give me the strength to never fail.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 "7 or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." @gabriel_true It seems we all are going through our own various struggles in this year, with some seemingly different levels than another, but all struggles just the same. I hope you, Ruca-Senpai and anyone else reading this or struggling right now know you aren't alone. I know it can seem like a cruel thing to say...cause who would want anyone else to be struggling as well? But, you aren't alone and I am praying that each hardship we endure (whether in the Faith or not) makes us stronger and not weaker. Remember that God can use the most harrowing circumstances and situations for our good, remembering that even when we can't see it, He has a perfect plan and expected end for our beautiful lives-that is-if we can hold on long enough to see it and receive it. Anyhow, I just wanted to give that in a hope of encouragement, and I'll be here waiting to here the good report from all of you as my friends, saying how wonderfully your lives are going. I love you Gabby and Ruca-Senpai, as well as anyone and everyone reading this. My family has been going through some stuff too on this side, but I know we'll all make it through. Keep fighting everyone! ❤️

Doctor called me just now to say that the polyp they removed from me did have cancer cells in it, however it was in the beginning stages, so I should have nothing to worry about. Just that every 5 years I should have a scoping done to remove any future growths. Which fits in line with my family history as cancer runs in both sides. So it was definitely good I had them check me out when they did.

Garbage ass bent piece of shit fish tape T.T, Google says the fishrod is better for dealing with insulation n shit yet we gotta use crap fish tape. Bought my own

@gabriel_true Man everyone in your family should get checked out. It's like that for me and skin cancer. Both my parents had it.