Random thoughts...

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfYouqxTYZ5FLK8GP2vZgpDtbkWtauWrReeXROyFBomvXldFg/viewform Hope.this blows up ngl

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/fa/ee/57/faee57e7fcb7ee6c574e707c184b8a4f.gif We didn't take a billion pictures along the way... Maybe we didn't capture them all in a single frame... What we did do was live in the moment... As we created life lasting memories... That we could never forget...

Doesn't the past always seem sweeter through "What if?"? Rumination, I know it well, but I also know that every mistake, every pain, every single regret...They're all part of what got me the good in life, too. Those memories, hazy little things that they are, they'll rot and fester if you let them. Let them remain sweet nothing's, a nostalgic scent that only lingers for a moment and then goes away. We all have them, "What if?". Don't be ruled by the past, lest you miss the present and regret your future. Move on, bruh. No matter the situation, running would've mucked it up, guaranteed and dwelling WILL slowly kill you. You can't see if you're running blind, even if it's to "escape". Gouge that mind's eye out, it seems to have a stye.

I am moving on just sometimes I get flashbacks. I hate how I compare people I'm talking to with her. Yes, she ignored my basic human needs alot for her own while going out of her way to hurt me, but there were some good times where she didn't hurt me. Where everything felt right. Just gonna take time to fully stop remembering her. First loves are a bitch like that. A friend mine once told me that first loves never go away from your mind. I hope it's the opposite at some point. Granted I can pick back up drinking to forget more easily but that's no solution.

I use this site now like a diary of sorts if that makes better sense. Writing it out makes me feel better and rest easy.