What I Did

This is really me complaining, sulking, or anything of the sort, its just something I have had on my mind for awhile and I have always wanted to get it off my chest and I've never been able to share it with anyone, and it has only been just recently that I've actually taken it to heart. One year ago today was the last time I dated a girl, she was from this site and it was the first time i ever tried something long distance but i was optimistic. We continued on for a few months until I started going through some rocky stuff, I wouldn't go as far as to say i was depressed, i just have phases where I'm stressed and I'm a very emotional guy. She would always tease me about being together and how much she wanted to cuddle and such. I told her how i felt about that but i don't think she ever understood how that made me feel, the fact that i couldn't made me feel powerless maybe? Well basically i went through days were i hardly talked to her, and she knew something wasn't right.. but the only question she would ask was if there was something SHE was doing wrong, and i honestly said no, because it was only me that made me feel what i was feeling at the time. I basically told her to give me some space so i could get over it, well. its been a year and i still haven't talked to her since. pretty much i guess I was done, i couldnt have a commitment when i was only caring about my self, Do i feel bad? of course i do. i just feel really stupid and didn't deserve her in the first place, i was a coward, or still am. Almost all of my girlfriends have liked me more than i liked them honestly, and I'm just feeling like garbage for how I've been acting and i just hope that i grow up soon, I'm turing 19 in a couple weeks and starting college, hopefull i can start acting like a man. thanks for reading if you got this far, writing this was mainly for me, but sharing is good too :3 If I'm ever honored to get to talk to her again, i hope i can show her how sorry i am

To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.

@yass Demetrius: Villain, what hast thou done? Aaron: That which thou canst not undo. Chiron: Thou hast undone our mother. Aaron: Villain, I have done thy mother.