Hypothetical Question-Religious Conversion

Considering that I am already a Christian, I wouldn't have to pretend. I would prefer to wed inside my own faith, but that is many years down the road. I do not think I would convert simply from the stance of incompatibility. Unless you really are just faking your religious background, or are simply ethnically associated with the religion, then wouldn't people with religious beliefs in direct opposition to each other have many issues? Just a thought. NO.44, I have to say I disagree with you and wonder what your basis for saying that most Christians are simply going through the motions? We aren't perfect, most of us are pretty flawed, comes with being human. Which is part of why we strive to be more like our deity in respect and compassion.

@Riolis As someone who worked and lived in rural Malaysia for quite some time, I concur with everything you said. :) I especially have never heard about people there required to be a certain religion by law. @differentdrum The term "Malay" is broad historically, linguistically, ethnically-speaking, especially in Southeast Asia, so I'm just going to assume that you're referring to "Malaysian Malays" when you use it. To answer your original question, I would not convert, not because of religion or anything, but trying to appease the family about major and minor things at the beginning of the relationship may spell a challenging future for me and my spouse. I could only imagine what other "requests" they would want to ask from me if we are finally married, have children, etc. What's next? "Oh, I know it's not a big deal to you both, but I would prefer our grandchild to be *insert religion here* even just on paper. Will that be okay?" But if we can't legally be recognized as married by his culture unless I convert, which would eventually bring serious problems to our lives like immigration paperwork, our children's rights and citizenship, etc., THEN AND ONLY THEN will I reconsider. :)

*me trying to high five Ringo_Blue thru the computer screen* I never really answered the question, so. I won't convert and I don't want my partner to convert as well. I find that is illogical, one should have the right to follow what they believe (including not believing in anything) It's might sound romantic if someone were to convert for me, or for my family. But that gesture is pretty much meaningless in my opinion, as you aren't really trying to convert. Its like saying, I'll go to the gym and work out to have a rip body for you but then go out and buy this : http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51Rumej-Z8L._SY355_.jpg

^ I would not convert, nor would I want my partner to abandon their religion. I do do not see much point in bothering myself with religious dogma just to pretend being something I am not. Actually, knowing how religion is important for some people I feel I would be insulting them by faking it. And I cannot do more than fake it if I do not even remotely believe in religion to begin with. Anyway, everyone should have the right to live their spiritual life as they wish. If the family does not accept me for who I am, then I am sorry that causes trouble to my partner, but I can only be myself, no more, no less.

@differentdrum A romantic, I see. :) Quite understandable, but isn't it already a given that the person you chose is worth whatever-Paris-costs-nowadays for you? Isn't being chosen enough proof of that? Also, I prefer to show my love and gratefulness to have my partner in my life through simple, everyday things. The constants, dependables. Kids call them practical, boring, grown-up stuff, but grand gestures only go so far, especially in long-term relationships. Add marriage into the equation and that's a whole other dimension altogether. To each his/her own, of course. :)

Ya know, I was raised methodist, and now after studying into the occult enough, I kinda can't go back, as I see religion as an oversimplification of the world for the masses. So I really don't do well when I'm expected to claim a certain faith. I can blend well enough with christians, wiccans, and buddhists through crossover spiritual understanding. Heck even atheists if they're at LEAST open minded skeptics who use the scientific method to approach their belief structure of reality instead of the whole "God's a lie, and there's nothing you can say or do to change my dogmatic atheism" thing. And my mother is of course in the "Donald Trump Supporter" spectrum of religious fundamentalist, which makes spending time around her quite hard, since she seems to think my soul needs saving. (Actually, I'm more worried about hers, with the way she talks about American Muslim terrorist camps. :/ ) ((Disclaimer: NSA, this is just a normal conversation, My mother, my father, and nobody in my family or immediate contacts are in any way is linked to any terrorist organizations.)) Anyways, my point is, if my mom can't convert me, my spouses parents probably couldn't either. I think it would only be polite to conform to the religious practices so far as to not deviate said spouse from their personal beliefs, and you know, celebrate Hanukkah or Christmas, or whatever holiday. Heck I love studying religious beliefs. But I'm a big picture kinda guy. Its not that I perceive myself as being "Above Religion", more that I've seen my own light, and I feel defining beliefs as clear, straight, and narrow is kind of a toxic way of thinking.

In my opinion, nope. But thats because I dont believe in soulmates. I think you could have someone who is equally compatible with you. The main limiting factor is time. Anyway, because I am for instance an established non-religious person I would find it unfair to have my entire hubris or doctrine be obliterated and replaced against my wishes by the opposite set of beliefs (the very thing that I turned my back on) just to live a married life with the guy I love. That would be a limitation of the religion that he is in. If you are mentally willing to give up that entire system youve adapted to just to be with them...thats your choice to make. I believe the key is to weigh the risks and benefits and see which one will serve you better. Will the marriage really last? Can you ensure absolute harmony just because your religious beliefs and the approval of her family is on equal levels/ acquired respectively? If the eventual choice you make is going to leave you unhappy or confined in anyway; then its not worth it. Besides, when you are set to live a happy future with her; I dont understand why family/society has to enforce any rules upon it. If you're a good person for the daughter, then you deserve to be accepted. Family/society is just an extra intervening factor, but your future is solely yours to build.

Interestingly enough, the last guy I seriously dated was also a Christian but my family is Episcopalian and his family was Born Again or something like that. I didn't think it was a big deal until I went to his church on Easter. My family rarely ever goes to church but Episcopalian mass is very calm and quiet and feels a lot like reflection or meditation. His family's church was nothing like that. The building was nothing like the turn of the century stone and stained glass structure I was used to. It was a renovated movie theatre. They had a big screen where the words of the Christian pop songs (none of which I knew) scrolled down and at one point, the top of the screen had a thorny crown across it with blood dripping down. The whole service was the pastor playing the guitar and singing and shouting and some people even starting speaking in tongues and rolling around in the aisles. I was actually terrified. When we left, I asked him, "Is this one of those Joel Osteen things?" It was. I told him I could never go back. We had discussions about some of the really fucked up beliefs his church held and argued back and forth but ultimately, he admitted he had misgivings about a lot of the things his pastor had preached before and slowly, he sort of left that church. I was also in a very abusive relationship with an atheist for two years and any time I mentioned God or my beliefs, he'd roll his eyes and make sounds of disgust. I could never give up my faith for anyone or convert to another religion but as long as my partner's religion isn't bat shit crazy and they don't think less of me for my beliefs, I don't care. I've had relationships with atheists and pagans where we both agreed that we respected each other's beliefs and that it ultimately made no difference. I even participated in pagan holidays and traditions with one of my boyfriends and included him in my winter holiday merrymaking and we both had a good experience with it but I think anyone who expects their partner to convert for them is asking a little too much, especially when that partner has very sincerely held beliefs. In high school, I knew a girl who was Catholic and her boyfriend was a first generation Korean-American whose family were staunch Buddhists. She was always going on about how he was going to convert for her so he could ask her to marry him. As I expected, it didn't work out.