Is it worse to be too easy/attainable or too picky/unattainable?

It's happened in reverse with me as well. I have met someone who I found attractive and then after getting to know them better over the course of, oh let's put it at half a year, would never ever ever date them. *vomits internally* And, also, Neko that may very well be base difference of our opinions. You start your attraction to someone based in looks. I do not.

I wouldn't say more evolved, just a matter of preference. For some people surface attraction is what matters more. If that's who they are I'm not putting them down for it. We all value different things in people. Pretending like a person is wrong for wanting someone they are physically attracted to from jump is just gonna guilt that person into dating people they don't really like to "prove" how not shallow they are. And that won't fix anything. Having said that, I like the idea of liking a person inside and out. And there have been times when someone I wasn't interested in or didn't pay much mind to in the beginning ended up catching my eyes later. As well as times when girls who turned me down initially said they wanted to go out after getting to know me. It just varies from person to person. Seems like it's more common for people to fall out of love though... Dating is complicated. It seems so much easier for people to let go of someone.

(lol xynox, nice jab, that last statement) For me, most girls fall on the side of (physical) attraction (if even by a very tiny amount) or repulsion. I can become much more attracted to a girl through their personality traits but it would be rare or unlikely for me to be attracted to a girl I find physically repulsive just because they have an awesome personality. But I can probably find something attractive with 85% or whatever of adult females. But there still has to be the smallest bit of attractiveness. (btw, I would consider dating almost every girl I've ever been friends with. I can only think of 2 I wouldn't). I do agree that it's a psychological effect. It's not about valuing looks, it's about the desire for physical intimacy. If the girl I loved was suddenly turned into a fat hairy old sweaty guy, I might still love her but I couldn't be aroused by her or want to physically have sex anymore. (I could force myself, but that's beside the point).

Surface attraction doesn't matter more, just saying there has to be some sort of attraction there in the first place (no matter how small), for me anyway.

Halo, I'm not saying that to put anyone down. I would put myself into the average category when it comes to valuing looks. So I'm not praising myself either. I mean it in an evolutional view. My doctor told me I have pretty sharp canines which means I am not as far evolved as people who have less sharp ones. Sad day it was, lol. We don't need sharp canines anymore so we're adapting to that. We're evolving. The preference for good looks steems from our ancestors who always looked for the best genetic options to mate with. Now the importance of attributes is shifting and so are our preferences. Physical attractiveness indicates strength and natural health. Nowadays with modern medicine and physical jobs becoming more rare that's not nearly as important as for example intelligence. That's why our preferences are shifting towards that, too. We're evolving. Some people are more evolved than others. I didn't mean to offend.

Oh I wasn't offended. But clear skin, a symmetrical face, good teeth, and just other general physically attractive traits are still a sign of good genes. It isn't as important but people are living longer and looking better for a reason. I didn't take it as a put down so much as an opinion I disagree with. Besides I think sharp canines are cool. EDIT: All I'm saying is that people value different things and should be able to explore their preferences. And that what works for one person might not for another. For example, you say you could drop someone after a few dates no problem. I could not do that easily. I find that showing some level of investment and intrigue early is highly underrated. Neither of us is wrong we're just different.

I don't know if it's more the cultural subset of this community versus the people I used to be around but I have noticed a big cultural shift in the last 20yrs. More and more people are essentially gender blind (pansexual), have decreased sex drive in general and less interested in finding a partner based on sexual desire. (more asexual, greysexual, demisexual etc.) and a sexually intimate desire more based on emotional intimacy. But then I grew up around people that would be considered hypersexual and many of my old friends slept with 30+ people while still in their teens, talked about having sex 5 times a day etc.

@BurningHalo, I agree with sharp canines because mild biting is a turn on... Just don't pull a Tokyo Ghoul...