Planning Romantic Battles

Acting? If I meet a guy and he's one thing (and I'm actually interested in that one thing) and a completely different thing when I get to know him? Fuck that guy. Not literally speaking. It's particularly fraud. Jk.. But it is very disappointing. Especially if you've developed an interest in their persona. If he's looking for meaningful connections it's very contra productive, too.

Well if it helps you overcoming anxiety and/or awkwardness, it's useful. Because if you just weirdly and silently stand there or mutter around you will never get a girl interested in you in the first place. Don't tell me you'd be. I'm not saying that throwing your own personality completely overboard is a good idea. It's just about the repairing of certain weaknesses, achieved through acting.

I think you should just do what you do in confidence. I'm lazy and impatient, and admittedly can't be bothered to play at all the angles that come with trying to communicate with strangers. I just say what I think, for better or worse. It might not work the way you'd like even half the time, but when it does, and it will, it'll work pretty well. You can't be friends with everybody, unfortunately, but you'd have the security of knowing that those who are interested in knowing you are genuinely interested. Being anything other than yourself makes no sense to me. Don't be like that.

huh, I actually came here thinking a sexy battle between the sexes was going to happen. A little disappointing but I will contribute. Not just girls, but people in general can tell instantly when you are forcing yourself to try and get to know them so that you don't feel lonely anymore. You're not having fun in your first interactions with them, are you? Chances are, that feeling is being directly transferred to them. In college, I tried to force situations just like you did and it got me nowhere. A lot of people tell you confidence, and it is true. You have to get to the point where you can achieve happiness with or without them. You can't find an answer to your lonelyness saddling on the backs of others.

I think you might have to learn how to read body language. If someone is uncomfortable they normally coil up or retreat in some kind of way. I you can notice that and kinda lay back a little bit then you won't be misunderstood like that. If the conversation isn't going good then you might have to back off and try someone else. Honestly if you think that your conversations are superficial then they're gonna pick up on that and lose interest. Just be genuine, if your genuine then maybe they'll be more open to the conversation with you. ( WOW THAT WAS LONG!!!)

I'm basically the same here as offline, only a little less cynical and blunt in real life. The best you can do is be you. Odds are literally in your favor that you'll find others just like you in real life, male and female. You don't have to change, maybe grow, but the best advice I can say is to be honest with yourself and those who you meet. Everyone wears a shield in life, but some times you gotta let your guard down just enough to see if another is worth your time. Take a chance on pain and the happiness more than makes up for that.

@maxikitty you don't gain confidence by pretending to be someone else. Temporary relief at most. I wouldn't be because it means the person wasn't able to gather the strength to openly be themselves. If the scenario I described happened I would not only be not interested but dislike them. Or feel pity.. Which is even worse.

Well Xynox, given your premise it's a damned either way. Either some girls like him because of his persona or no girls like him because he is himself. At least by pretending he can fool some people. But from what I see, the point is not to fool people but rather to try and change yourself into the kind of person others want to be around. Now don't get me wrong. I think you're right in that a person shouldn't pretend to be something they aren't just to impress other people. But who you "are" is not something set in stone. It's determined a little by your words, a lot by your actions, and mostly by your feelings when saying those words and doing those actions. So a person forcing themselves to do things they normally wouldn't and trying to be a new person is not bad. It's only deceptive if the motive is to fool others rather than to try and change oneself