Do women need to be broken before they understand?

Easy there Masakan. The more you take the bait, the harder it is to let go. For someone who doesn't care about what goes on in here, they seem to return time and time again to grace us with replies.

This seems to be to much for my brain to handle at 1.45am in the morning but I will say this Yes at the end of the day it comes down to personal experiences this goes for both men and women, but I also comes down to persons character. Weather or not your type of person to let your past hold you back/effect you negatively or if your person who isn't and continues to move forward regardless of the assholes in your way/past. But doing this "Moving Forward" is one of the hardest things a person can do, simply because you would need except your self, by this I mean your mistakes such as trusting the wrong people or hurting the people who care about you. Things such as these can cause mental/physical scars can and will hold a person back to stop them, moving on. A Person must first find their own understanding, of why they did, whatever they did then except those mistakes or bad choices, then finally find the courage/resolve to move on/past it. But as I said this is hard choice/path it is far easier to condemn ones self then to redeem/to seek redemption and I notice a lot people of our generation tend to pick a quick and easy path and many people tend to ignore their problems these people usually have trouble moving on. This also why I believe that women are amazing, because even though like all people some women are naïve at first, they have so much potential and can be the lich pin that holds a family together and a lot men don't realize this until they get married. Anyway back to my point it comes down to a persons character and personal experiences, Only you can decide when its time to change, but as a friend you can show them door, but before you do, stop and think you yourself does person have the character/resolve to do so, cause some people don't.

I know I'm late to the party but I'm going to respond anyway. XD "Now she genuinely believes that generally speaking growing up girls/women have no idea what a good man is..." This is very likely if there was a father absent from childhood and adolescence. Or rather than being absent, if there was a shit father figure. I'm not saying a single mother cannot raise her child alone, it's just that two fully capable and present parents can raise a child better. If the mother also struggles with relationships through their life this can effect the child as some of these things are learned. "and basically have what I like to call a "Sakura Haruno" Complex..and are often attracted to assholes, and only after they have been abused or misused can they appreciate a good man." I know plenty of women who are in general attracted to bad boys. Sometimes it's a phase and sometimes they are just need drama and excitement... if being with a dickhead does that for them, well that leaves the decent ones available for people like me. LOL "Now on one hand this could be viewed as someone learning from their mistakes...which is admirable....on the other hand it can be seen as getting stuck with someones sloppy seconds. You could even think that someone with such a wild past might not be the most trustworthy in the world. And all view points would have some sort of validity to them." I kinda see it as an excuse. Maybe she's telling it to people now or maybe she tells it to try to convince herself. It's pretty typical when women choose bad men over and over again there is guilt and remorse associated to it.

So does it come down to the ladies character. Question is, does she see it as a problem, if she does, does she want to change, and if you want to help her, do you see her with resolve so see it through, many people say they will change, very few ever do. "Do or do not, there is no try"

I believe that some women make the mistake of choosing a bad guy because she sees his confidence. When he ends up making her feel like crap, she believes that she doesn't deserve any better. Some girls simply like to live an edgy life for a while and then settle down with a stable man for the long run. Personally, I believe every single woman deserves a man that treats her right and with admiration. If they don't, they need to get their ass kicked. I've gotten into fights over it, and so should you if you see a guy mistreating a woman. I think every woman, no matter what kind of hell she went through in previous relationships, has the ability to flower into something beautiful. There's no 'sloppy seconds' about it.

I understand that, but there is very little point trying to help someone who may not want it or is not ready to change. Even if you deal with ass hole the girl is dating, she will just find another until she wants something different or grows out of it.

@Arc well in another sense I was talking about sloppy seconds both figuratively and literally. By that i mean she's probably got an orgy or 2 under her belt.

@hanzo True, she may just go to the next asshole guy. However, under no circumstances should a guy mistreat a woman. It's every guy's duty to stand up for a woman that they see being mistreated. You'll just know if it's a situation that you need to step in on.