How do you regain trust after being cheated on

I feel like I'm not willing to throw away the years I've put in but a part of me is dieing g can't really explain it but will this pass will I feel betrayed forever ?

It's up to your significant other to earn back your trust, not the other way around. If she's making the effort to do so, then you both must work together to fix your relationship issues and reestablish clear boundaries. Otherwise, move on. Aye, it's going to suck, especially at this time of the year. Ultimately, you're better off with a partner who respects you and supports your life mission.

Honestly, I have a firm belief that a cheater will always be a cheater. There is no way to earn back trust after something like that. I'd wholeheartedly recommend moving on, if she's cheating on you she isn't worth it anyway. Don't just settle, find someone who will be loyal. If she really loved you, she wouldn't have cheated. You deserve so much better.

@Shadower: With a cheater, you'll always be the villain because you caught them. They're almost hard-wired to not accept responsibility and to lash out when caught in a lie.

Gudmoore you are right on the money! It's almost like they rehearse lines and responses in advance lol, I laugh about it now looking back on it. It didn't matter how I came at her, a response and reasoning behind every action, every thought and movement she made was ready lol.

It comes down to them regaining your trust not the other way. Usually though when people are cheating its because they are not getting what they "want" out of the relationship. It might be time to look at what you have and let go if its not working for you.

Bullet dodged, brotha. Bullet dodged. Never look back. I know that's much easier said than done, believe me. However, it's not the end of the world, rather, its a new beginning and a fresh start. If she was willing to cheat on you, she didn't care about you at all. You'll move on, learn and wonder why you were sad to begin with in due time.

I guess it depends on the type of person she is. Something obviously drove her to cheat on you be it her own irresponsibility, loss of feelings for you, or just feeling trapped in a relationship she's lost some if not all interest in. "Throwing away" years is very subjective in all honesty. Unless you've been married for 10+ years or there are children involved, then to me it's just a LTR that probably needs to end. I get the "comfort zone" of having a relationship and time and energy invested into a relationship, but if you're willing to be faithful but the other person has already demonstrated they are not, sometimes even if you've been together for awhile it's best to just cut your losses and move on. Even taking her back will still have the air of "can I still trust her?" about all your times together or when you're not around her. To me that's too much of a headache to want to deal with once the trust barrier has been violated no matter how much I may still have feelings for the person.

I don't advocate cheating or anything, but I also don't believe people enter a relationship with the intent to cheat. Biologically humans are innately inclined towards nonmonogomy, but biology is just a baseline not destiny. Lifelong relationships do happen and do work for many people. There are a lot of reasons why people cheat. some of which @cecil has said above. The relationship might have changed, you might have changed, she might have changed, or she just might not be very good at monogamy. Some of those reasons are things that can be worked on and some of them aren't. It's really up to how you both feel about the relationship and if it's worth salvaging and honestly, no one can really help you make that decision. No matter if you both want this relationship or if one or the other decide that the relationship isn't repairable, you're going to have to have a serious and open communication with each other

If your boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on you, then that means that they don't really care for you anymore. Whenever that happens, you should just break up with them and move on.