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up for grabs?

purple_butterfly121
Earlier this year, I went through a very bad experience with my best friend and a boyfriend I had had. We had dated for a couple of months but then decided to take a break because he seemed really stressed over his school and I didn't want his grades to fall because of me. I was still very much in love with him and it was painful for me not to be able to see him as much anymore. Fast forward a couple of months, My feelings haven't changed for and I was waiting for the day when he would be ready for a relationship again, but I noticed my best friend was getting close to him. She would talk about him all the time. I was really naïve and didn't even think twice about them going out places together. I started to piece things together and confronted them about it and they told me they had feelings for each other. I didn't know what to because I knew they would start dating regardless of what I thought. I tried to be okay with it but I couldn't hang with them like I used to. She told I shouldn't be so upset because we only dated a couple of months and that she shouldn't be limited to who she could date just because I dated them. Was I being to sensitive about this or are my feelings about it justified? lol sorry this is a long one but I really wanted someone else's opinion.
soleil
Dec 28, 15 at 11:37am
This account has been suspended.
purple_butterfly121
I tried not to judge too harshly because I cared about them both a lot but it really hurt.
bonfiyah
Dec 28, 15 at 3:42pm
I'd just cut ties with them, honestly. I've been in a similar case like that and decided to cut ties for my feelings to be at ease. Sure, I lose them but it hurts more just to see someone you had feelings for loved by someone who was supposed to be your friend. Yeah, you had reasons to let him go and your friend did took advantage of that. However, you shouldn't be upset since he's no longer yours even if you do have feelings for him still. I would cut off from them because just seeing them together, would be painful to watch or at least keep a distance from them and focus on something that could keep yourself occupied.
sub
Sub @sub commented on up for grabs?
Dec 30, 15 at 4:11am
Its a hard situation but the only thing you can do is move on. If they have feelings for each other there is nothing you can do about that. The only thing I would suggest is making your own feelings known.
xueli
Dec 30, 15 at 9:24am
That's a really sucky situation to be in for sure. I can understand how you'd feel hurt by the both of them but unfortuantely, people aren't really things we can call dibs on. I've been in similar situations before and sometimes we all remain friends and sometimes not. I think the best thing to do is just talk to them about how you feel and stress that although you cherish your relationships, you need a bit of distance while you sort things out and go from there.
rainx
Rain @rainx commented on up for grabs?
Dec 30, 15 at 11:39am
A couple of months or not, you still dated the guy and developed feelings for him. You also were under the hopes after a "break" you'd potentially be getting back together. It'd maybe be one thing if you never actually dated the guy, but you two were a couple for awhile, and I think for most people who actually respect a friend's feelings, they know it's not ok to date an ex. Or at a minimum, talk to you about it first and get your okay instead of going behind your back. At the end of the day, it is what it is. They unfortunately didn't have enough respect for your feelings and just decided to go on dating one another without even talking to you. I know it might be difficult for you, but I would agree with the sentiment echoed above of just moving on from them as friends and not talking to them any more. There's the old relationship adage of "broes before hoes", but it definitely rings true for female friends as well. Let them have their relationship and see where it goes. If they break up down the road and at least she wants to talk to you again about being friends, I don't think it would be the end of the world for you to listen. But I wouldn't want to be around them much as long as they're in a relationship together. Too many hard feelings there.
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