Being too nice a bad thing?

This article cites a more recent study and honestly the results to that one actually seems to align more a long what I've tend to notice. Basically that bad boys and queen bees make the better first impressions thus taking advantage of the halo effect but ultimate do not end up being the person that people actually want to be in relationships with. http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2012/12/appeal-bad-boys/

Hmmm...Sooo... Peacocking on the middle ground it is. This whole debate is growing rather redundant as it pops up at least once a month or so. Duh... Confidence draws in those who want protection and resources, while a lack of confidence tends to indicate a weaker individual who is less likely to take chances that might otherwise bring them great success (or death...which ever comes first). People want security, period. We are hardwired to procreate even if you don't want kids and as such we seek out certain characteristics that hopefully guarantee better success for our potential offspring.

This subject definitely hits home for me. I've been told plenty of times that I'm too nice. Lol, it doesn't really bother me - I try to treat everyone as I would want to be treated. I love holding doors open, carrying stuff for old people, and just typically going out of my way for others. Most of my friends know they can call or text at anytime if they need to talk or need help and I would always mist definitely make time to help them. With that being said, there are always going to be times when someone may take advantage of me. At my old jobs - whenever someone called.out of work or needed to take off - usually I would be the first person they'd call to come in or work later. I was always to nice to say no and would feel bad leaving them hanging. So a lot of weeks I was crazy overworked. But I guess it's all about how I was raised and the mentors I've had in my life. Everything has its disadvantages, you just have to learn to accept the thorns with the roses.

I do some requests for friends like helping then with hw, but when they keep asking me too much I say no...then they start calling me mean lol Don't be nice to just anyone, only to people who deserve it

Xypho, They do... Way too many people think they're nice without weighing it all out. There's cordial and there's helping yourself by "helping" another. I also don't understand what makes someone worthy of another's niceness. Wouldn't that make you a hypocrite if you wair for another to be nice first? Meh... Who the hell am I?

To answer the original post. No it isn't. There is PERCIEVED to be a point where you are too nice. (And I know all the answers have already been given earlier in the thread.) The belief that a person is too nice is kind of stupid...as too nice is a matter of opinion. What is saying "Hi, how was your day?" Too nice for people? Did you know some people actually DO think its too nice? "Why should you care about some other random persons day?" Granted that's just being cordial to me... From a sociological stand point it always interested me (the reactions between people). And of course psychology is usually thrown in too. Its interesting how girls...or should i say women... want a nice man...but still end up dating assholes. A lot of times it is just the initial impression (man ACTS nice) compounded by physical attraction. (Looks is a factor in any attempt to find a mate...that's just nature.) Others its as stated earlier...the douche is more assertive...and more pushy...so is seen as strong and know what he wants. And that alpha mentallity is what is successful for them. Anyway...I know its being long winded...so I can cut short here. If a girl says you are too nice...then they aren't looking for a nice guy. They want a nicER asshole..that's more tolerable. Continue being a person that is nice or gives...if they didn't want you for who you are and how you like to be...they aren't worth the effort. *shrug* I don't know though...I always tell girls that all guys can be assholes...no matter who they are.

@Nipplord likewise man. It's a dicey topic sometimes because interpretations/perceptions of those concepts can widely vary in culture and personal experience. What I am trying to get at I guess is nice is fine but chronic instances of too nice is usually indicating a deeper issue. Anyone who denies their own feelings/choices/values to not 'rock the boat' or are afraid they will be disapproved of if they show their true feelings is one example. Or when someone acts with the a mental frame resembling 'what choice will make them approve of me the most' instead of 'what choice would I approve for myself the most'. I know guys who do this, they are essentially being dishonest, not nice like they think they are. Their partners sometimes complain about them being emotionally unavailable because they are hiding their true feelings 'to be nice' and it's not always a conscious action but instead a trained reflex. Some of these guys walk on egg shells to keep their partners happy or put them on a pedestal and ironically can piss their partners off by doing it to their frustration. The ones that get mad because they did not get the girl/promotion/whatever even though they were nice/did things for them/gave gifts they are guilty of something called a covert contract. They think by doing/buying/giving someone something they are entitled to something in return, that is not nice that's a form of manipulation regardless of the intention. Even though their motives may be good ones they are in fact demonstrating low social value and can get taken advantage of or discounted by others. In my time researching self-improvement and relationships I have never found a good hard and fast study outside of undergrads too. Men in particular are treated quite unmercifully in some of these issues and are told to just man up without a real road map to get there these days. Ironically that shaming tactic just drives some deeper into their issues leaving them in silent misery until they find a way out or crack. I do see tons of articles and self help books and YT vids to address the issue in various frames from how to not get taken advantage of to how to be a dick PUA. I am also somewhat passionate about this matter as I see promising younger people making the exact same mistakes for the same reasons I did in the past and I know well the consequences from my own experiences and friends that had to get through it too. I am just trying to throw them a bone as it were so they can avoid some pitfalls. For me it was an attitude adjustment to re-tune the nice guy into a good man. In school I was one of those 'what do I have to do to be accepted' types. When I discovered instead 'what do I have to do to accept myself' good things started falling into place on their own in many aspects.