I am socially awkward

I find it hard to find the words in real life and online, until I have become comfortable with a person. I want to find a friend (boy or girl), but I can't find the words sometimes...

alot of us know what your going through since alot of us are the same way. like me for example i have the same problem as you only without the boyfriend thing XD

Imagine you've known the person you're talking to for ages. Has helped me quite a number of times. It's human to be careful with words when you first get to know a person, because it's programmed into our brain to want to be liked. And therefore some people fear judgement for every word. But usually people are not that judgemental so just take it down a notch and just speak and think more casually and honestly... like you would with a good friend.

It seems to work a lot for people that aren't afraid to say what's on their minds, however sometimes people say too much. My case is that on internet I'm a really playful girl and I probably don't care but IRL I'm a jerk, I don't even salute people, I get away from those I can't stand even though we used to hang a lot without a single word, I'm blunt so people can't stand my realistic points of views because they are "boring", also because I actually don't want to share much about my life since I see it like chaining myself to someone that's probably going to use it against me. I literally trust no one outside of my family or really long friendships. I've found some good friends that valued my company since I moved last year but due to me always advancing, I left them behind. There are perks on being a "wallflower" as they are on being "popular" but what are you willing to leave behind is up to you. Is for sure you have to behave in order to have friends but usually most people don't like spicy truths being spilled at their faces, meaning you are always going to have to control yourself. It depends a lot on who you are too, basically is what xynox said but not really. I see it more complex than that.

I have social anxiety so I know the feeling. Just do what ever makes you feel comfortable. Try basic conversation then hopefully your confidence will grow :-)

To find friends isn't that hard (only my experience of course don't punch me) let me also try to give some tips^^ If we imagine now you're lonely without friends, worst case which means we're at point 0. a. Start with the internet, you're anonym, no one can see you and you can easily close windows or shut the computer down if it get too much. b. What are you interests? You make friends easier if you share interests f.e. anime / gaming. An example in the example could be pokemon games c. Stay at your native language first, dunno... just I would do it D. Upper case now it gets more difficult: But you did this step already. I wanted to suggest to register in a forum which is about your interests (keep step c in mind) E. Talk / Write with the other random people about your interests, join a discussion and so on (remember step a, you can leave anytime) F. Add people from there to your friendlist, write PMs with those persons G. After step F you might already made a online friendship. What I can suggest as well is to add a person in skype or steam for even more contact and in case of steam, you could play a game together. Which is a positive thing again H. Repeat it until you got a few friends you like and you'll see you feel better in that knowledge there are people who understand you and you can talk to them. :D I! Now the hardest part: After you got a better self-confidence now because of the reasons that you know it doesn't matter what happens in the internet you've still people who likes you. If you know that one of your internet friends lives nearby you could meet that person iRL and add each other in whatsapp f.e. ^.^' If there not in your area you have to meet new people. That's the most difficult part btw. Look for a location which is interesting for you and where you can expect people who likes the same. What I did was to join a material arts sports, it's a sport, you learn useful moves and there are people! And I'm pretty sure you would do well. J! Just start with small talk things, hey how are you, what are you doing after this, whats are your hobbies and stuff. If your hobbies match, you got a topic. K! If one of the hobbies were inline skaten f.e. you could suggest to skate a biter on week end with that person. Because some things let a friendship grow. I wouldn't be surprised if you got your "first real" friend now. L! Repeat this for more friends. Of course it's more complicated in detail but maybe it helped a bit? :c If not you can punch me twice, first for the text and then for my english xD