just broke up with someone and i feel like death

Self esteem=Self worth... You do know this, right? Self worth doesn't dictate how one acts. An ass hole can have low self worth, hence being an ass to compensate. Buuuut....I'm done, as this thread was not about you or self esteem.

Wow@this whole thread. She obviously has serious emotional problems and so do you to be that upset after knowing someone 2 months. Better to work on a friendship because neither of you are ready for a relationship. A relationship won't work when someone uses the other as an emotional crutch to compensate for their extreme lack of self-esteem.

Life happens man like they said you have to have trust in yourself and the girl. It's not the end of the world man just keep trying and show her something she can beleive like tell her your going to finish school and become a better man nothing but respect and love. As for getting over it just pay attention to your self and school try not to think about it and try to put something esle in its place for the time being.

I finished reading the Alfie Kohn's thesis on self-esteem that you linked. He's not dismissing the term, "self-esteem," but more or less, dismissing the "coined" definition of it. Because something as intrinsic as self-esteem can't be defined so easily, it becomes subjective to each individual. This is what Kohn believes to be detrimental to societal performances. So, he's not stating that self-esteem is an excuse, but he's stating that the "way" we treat self-esteem isn't correct within certain corresponding "self-esteem programs." Because Kohn said in this that even he believes self-esteem is intrinsic (natural)--but his main debate is whether or not it's an efficient motivational tool for students. TL:DR - Kohn believes self-esteem is tied within our psyches, but the way we treat may not be the most beneficial. Bad example for what you're trying to prove.

Um... No offense, but you should really read things clearly before you link things as proof :/ Also, it's really hard to understand you with such bad English >.<