Starting to get tired of things.

Oh thanks T ^.^ Takumi I don't think it's bad that they still try to cheer you up, it means they still care for you

But see, by searching for people that you could gel with---let me put it this way. You don't have to do what I do, which is speak to a variety of people. After so long, I'm able to see tiny nuiances in people's behavior, and I feel as if I know what choices they're going to make, whatever they decide. Because of my own strange analytical behavior, I feel omniscient; it's strange. Ah--getting to the point, my "searching for people", I probably mean look for the right type of(intereactive atmosphere?) I can't explain it, but, Also, you're going to have to accept people changing their minds. It sucks, but just like men, women are confused to. A good latter are lost on what they want. And I guess thatsssssss puberty I guess.

If they do, it comes off as pity or trying to be a suck up because they hurt my feelings and let me down. If you actually care about somebody, you don't lead them on like that to drop them at the last minute. If you actually care about somebody, you tell them that you're just not interested or that you're just insecure about it and not ready; not after about a month of dating leading up to romantic interest. People put a lot of time, thought, feelings, and money into doing that. I went in with patience, with somebody that said they liked me a lot as well. Somebody that glorified me in everything, until I asked them out. Then it turned immediately into, "Oh...erm, sorry..." Compliments like that just suddenly become fallacies. Did they even mean those things? It causes doubt. Am I really that kind of a person, or are they just trying to butter me up to feel better about myself? Yep. Anybody would be lucky to have my presence. Except for the ones saying that. We can't say they still care for me. We don't know what they are thinking. And particularly by the behavior of the aftermath, it's just a big brick in the face. They're trying to cheer me up because they feel bad. I don't want that. I don't appreciate the pity from being used. --- Pft, puberty? Man I'm far from a kid now. I'm in my mid 20's. We're not talking about teenagers here dealing with typical high-school love affairs. We're talking about adults.

Plus, people show their true selfs when they get close to one another. Another factor is that some girls aren't ready to be open with someone, afraid of commitment, etc. I (sort of ) know how you feel being led on. With me never had dated anyone, it's sort of exciting when an individual is more friendly than others, even in a slightly flirtisic way. And when I get curved with the 'ole, "You're sweet[...]..but you're not my type", malarky, it's kind of confusing. I mean we already have great chemistry, so what's the harm? But you hafta realize that great chemistry can be misleading; the other party has to -legitimately- like you for you. Women are human too, if they want to have fun, and stop, you can't really blame anyone. I've also learned recently that kindness goes a long way, but you can't be nice to everyone. I mean, respect should be universal, but my kindess has been mistaken for weakness/has been abused. It sucks to be offhanded and walked all over. Haha, I'm getting to the point to "Mr. Fuck Love, it's Bullshite because the dating scene is a fucking game." m-maybe I added a thing or two there, kek. ~T

Once again Takumi, I think people "around" our age are just -extrememly- afraid of commitment, but you never know. Because every time I turn around, some other aquaintence of mine is in a relationship with somebody. Everybody is getting married or pregnant, and I'm just getting more awesome. http://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/160669/160669,1295962041,5/stock-photo-elegant-senior-man-holding-a-glass-of-wine-and-a-cigar-69888838.jpg ~T

"I mean we already have great chemistry, so what's the harm? But you hafta realize that great chemistry can be misleading; the other party has to -legitimately- like you for you. Women are human too, if they want to have fun, and stop, you can't really blame anyone." These are people that legitimately like me for me. At least, that's how they say and act. I don't put out for people that just aren't interested in me as a person. It has to go both ways, and it has for every one of my relationships. And the fact that, if they're just using me to have fun? That doesn't help either. That's exactly what's wrong with the situation. I'm an adult. I can't keep wasting my time with people who appreciate me until I'm actually needed to be appreciated. Life doesn't work like that. People don't work like that. And in the end, because of that, people like me get burned.

Even adults are dumb, huehue I mean, I'm only 19, but everyone makes mistakes. I feel like I gel with older people anyway. And let me tell ya, the teenage generation? 13-17 year olds? Their dating scene? It's cringeworthy. ~T

I know. I was a teenager once. I remember my teenage years VERY well. I don't compare adult dating to teens dating. There's an entirely different level of maturity and expectation there, let alone hormones. Even in adults who fear commitment or just want to have fun. --- Also, to be clear on this. I don't compare myself to other people who are getting into relationships around me. That's their business, not mine. I am perfectly content being single. I've never had a problem with being single. My problem comes from, no matter what, I'm just a tool for people to have a quirk with then toss off on the side.

"These are people that legitimately like me for me. At least, that's how they say and act." "All the worlds' a stage, and all the men and women are merely players." -^ I actually hate this analogy, but it's sort of true. "I can't keep wasting my time with people who appreciate me until I'm actually needed to be appreciated." -Same. in 10th grade of high school. I made that change. People just kept wasting my time. ~T

Then that just boils down to me tossing out everybody in return simply because they rejected me. Why would I bother doing that? That just makes me into an ass. I'm not an ass like that. I still value the friendship. I don't appreciate being led on. Again, this isn't some kind of problem that needs a solution. I know the solutions. I know how to deal with it. I'm just venting in order to cope. I don't need like, advice on how to handle it.