Sex before marriage.

It's not so much that men are hardwired to reproduce fast, but that women needed to take care in choosing who they reproduced with. At one time in the past, they only had once solid chance to reproduce (due to length of pregnancy and risk of death), with only luck giving them more chances. Therefore, in order to get the best offspring, they needed to find the best mate. Males on the other hand can reproduce as much as they want.

Agreed drmario. In the far past at 20 your life was literally half over. Now people can live 75+ years often. Nature takes a little while to catch up. I think we are too far out of balance with nature though. 200 years ago we did not need a massive healthcare system to keep the population on positive growth numbers in spite of the challenges.

As to sex before marriage, that's something that's pretty individualistic. I mean, it really depends on both your comfort level and then that of your partners. I have no judgements for people who have had sex without marriage or for people who wait. We all have different reasons to do or to have not done and unless I live your life, I can't really say anything about right or wrong or whatever. Basically the sexual experience (or lack thereof) of my significant other does not bother me at all @DarkuSchneider Well with the fall in birth rates around the world, the population growth will be in the negatives soon enough if nothing changes. I read a study that suggested that in our generation we'll see it plateau and then the next generation might even see it start to fall. Something like that

"Try before you buy." Sure sex means different things to different people but those who are wondering about it I think it's best to see if sex will be a problem in the marriage because if it does become a problem, having a head start to rectify it might help in the long run. That physical, intimate, exchange means something to one and/or the other. Best to work out the compatibility. That whole notion of waiting to have sex before marriage is so archaic. A good buddy of mine is trapped in an almost sexless marriage. He's young too so it sucks for him. His wife knew how much of a pervert he is and still married him. You wouldn't believe all the woman that want his banana. I've witness it dozens of times. Good thing for his wife that he's super loyal to her and the family. He's current stalker isn't getting any from her husband and she has a very high libido that needs to be satisfied. Maybe because it's a Japanese thing? Since the birth of their daughter (she's 3 now) she's very reluctant about sex and it does hurt him because he interprets it as she's not attracted or wanting to be with him. He believes he's a living paycheck, a salary man if you will. I'd hate to be in his shoes. I have a healthy and high libido. It's fun and more enjoyable when it's matched with another of the same. I can only speak for myself. There's people out there that aren't interested in sex and that's okay. Just... match yourself with someone of the same. Just figure out on your "list" where does it fall under your priorities in a marriage.

If she's avoiding sex after giving birth, maybe she has some personal problem with it, like maybe it's painful... Or she could be ashamed of the stretching. I don't think it's a Japanese thing since my parents still are really affectionate with each other. They should try to communicate things better, in that case.

I dunno but... The family structure that seemed to have been established is an old fashion Japanese one. From what he's read up on other who's married into a Japanese family is that once a child is born, the family hierarchy is Mother, Child(ren), then husband. Husband becomes kinda like a room mate. What's he's told me. They are affectionate... I guess but do you know your parent's sex life? There's a difference between affection and sex. Oh, he's tried so hard to talk to her about it. It took over 2 years to get some answers out of her. Her best answers is that she doesn't see a problem not having sex. He loves his wife, he loves sex, and wants to put them together. Doesn't want to have it outside his marriage. He really takes care of her and he banks so she doesn't even need to work. He takes care of all her needs (as far as I'm told and can observe). She's not taking care of him.

Another friend of mine married some guy she barely dated for a year in fear that she'll die alone. She really settled... oh man it sucks for her. She only causally dated this guy who's older than myself and is about 10yrs older than her. He was going through a divorce. I told her that she's rushing and that he's yet to finish dealing with all his baggage from his previous marriage. She was miserable in her first year of marriage. She doesn't find him that handsome/physically attractive and isn't sexually attracted to him at all really. She's the type of person who can separate sex and emotion and keep it mechanical. She has a hard time being emotionally intimate with him. He only wants emotionally intimate sex and she doesn't. She's willing to meet him halfway but he won't have none of that. He's even said he's feels terrible being "tricked" into a sexless marriage. Doesn't help he's not intelligent at all and she's one of the most intelligent friends I've known from college. He really grew up being spoon fed and he has no street smarts and has a completely and profoundly skew perception of how the world works. Man, I've gotten so many teary eye phone calls from her venting about how she's made a huge mistake and feels trapped. She's doing better since being on depression meds but that's killed her libido so... cycle starts again. I'm just glad our relationship didn't work out when we dated but we're really good friends. I just wish her the best with her struggles.

That is something of a problem for some girls I know... desperation to not be alone. It drives them to the point that they obsess over love, rather than the person they love. Even smart people fall victim to this, because they aren't really able to think it through clearly. It can be from peer pressure too... they feel because all of their friends are finding boyfriends, they must too. They feel left out from not having a lover. I see it way too much in my friends, and it's sad.