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Can't get in a relationship cause "I'm too nice"???

oreo717
some girls just use that as an excuse to not hurt your feelings, but I could be other things
vampire_neko
It's hard to find a relationship that lasts at any age. On topic, I've met plenty of girls that don't like super nice guys and some girls have specifically said that they like jerks. I think it has to do with the evolutionary trend of species survival, girls tend to want a powerful dominate male to protect and provide for them. A guy who's too "nice" will tend to get bullied and taken advantage of. But a "jerk" will do whatever to get his way to get food and money and such.
oreo717
lol last guys finish last is not entirely true, I just finished high school but I assure you I knew lots of "nice guys" who were in relationships. I see a lot of young people here posting topics desperate for a partner, but I think you just wanna experience that feeling of having a girlfriend since you see everyone in school with someone, but I never did really like relationships but even I understand you dont push to make it happen with someone, someday that right person will just walk in
xueli
If you were the one to approach them first about maybe being in a relationship, then there's a pretty good chance that they told you that because they don't want to date you. The reason why they don't want to date you could be anything really, but ultimately they didn't want to hurt your feelings and they tried to let you down softly. I don't really buy the nice guys finish last, if you mean nice guys as guys who are like good guys. Being a doormat doesn't automatically mean that you're nice just like being "alpha" or whatever doesn't mean that you're a jerk.
junkosan209
All girls have different prospectives on there male half. Like myself cause my prospective on men are way different then other girls. I mean I've told girls what I'm into and they just tilt there heads in awkward mode and just tell me I should up my list on guys that would make a prefect other half. But I just like a regular type guy nothing special >_>
vampire_neko
^xueli -->(2nd paragraph) No, it's not an absolute, just a general trend. A lot of alphas tend be be jerks or just insensitive and a lot of nice guys are not good at being assertive at expressing themselves. That's why I rarely get along with alpha males and prefer female friends. I've met a few good alpha males but most of them just use their popularity to bang as many girls as possible. While I stand on the sidelines wanting an actual serious relationship watching girls I liked being used and thrown away because the guy knows he can get away with it because he's a popular "alpha" male, while I'm the "nice guy" who just tends to be friend zoned.
xueli
@vampire_neko, haha I tend to have bad experiences with "nice guys". But no, none of that was an absolute. I just meant that certain personality traits don't necessarily mean someone is actually that kind of person. Besides, people who use the "dark triad" as it's called, narcissism, Machiavellianism, and I forgot the last one but it's something equally on those lines, they tend to attract people in the short term but studies show that they can't retain relationships. So everything comes with a trade off in the end :p
missallyesterday
I'm with Toe and Xueli on this mostly. I also see what Yu is saying. Basically, it really is a variation of things and being a "nice guy" doesn't always make people nice. In Japan they use "carnivore" and "herbivore" to describe these traits and sometimes we would laugh and say a few of our friends are carnivores under the guise of herbivores. They act like the "nice guy" but they're more like an alpha. Lol Now, it's okay to be nice and stuff but it's also important to assert yourself a little. If you don't tell the girl, "hey I like you!" Then she's not going to know. So, then there is that dreaded "friendzone" (I hate that word) people worry about. I feel it exists because these so-called "nice guys" just don't make the move. And, sometimes girls just want to be friends, sometimes guys just want to be friends and in that situation it's just best to accept it and move on. If it's meant to happen, it will happen. At least you told them and they are honest if they tell you they aren't interested. Also, remember if they turn you down would you rather be in a relationship where the girl really isn't into you and you end up breaking up, or would you rather find someone who likes you for who you are? I think most girls will say "you're a really nice guy and I think you'll make a girl really happy, but I'm not interested in a relationship with you. I'd like you to stay my friend and I don't want to complicate things." Because they mean it. It's not that you are too nice, but sometimes starting a relationship with a friend screws things up and some people aren't comfortable with that because you are a nice guy friend. i have guy friends i feel like that with, but with me it depends. (My charger on my phone broke so I am stuck texting awkwardly with my iPhone lol.)
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