Letting go of long term relationships

I had a two year relationship. All the while the guy kept on saying he never loved me. Kept on lying to me cheating on me. I can't let go and he still hangs around because I just let him step over my dignity and all. What should I do or think of to get over it and just shun him out of my life? My dilemma is I really feel bad about the time and effort i wasted on him. If I totally let go then I feel like I really threw all my time and effort away. What do you guys think? Also I'd be lonely alone :|

You're very cute and I'm sure you'd have an easier time finding a guy that I would in Japan. /: I think you feel somewhere that he is the best you can get and that's not true at all... There are many different guys out there and there are good ones out there I even met my perfect match at one time... But...we lost touch... and I'll never see him again now, at least not in this world... Anyway, do your best to let go of this guy. You did what you could to try to make things work, you let him walk all over you, you took his bullshit... It's time to take care of your own emotional needs and get rid of that toxic person. I have a friend from Nagoya. She is here now but she went home to visit a few months ago, I can ask her if she knows some good guys for you! lol I know it is going to hurt a lot, it's not easy to let go especially out in the big world. But, it'll be for the best because you are already hurting from things he's done.

The reason it seems you're finding it hard to let go is because it was such a long relationship and was something you genuinely put effort into. So to have to put it behind you is something you find difficult because that would mean for the last two years you have nothing to really show for it because things did not end the way you wanted them to and so you're placed in a rough spot. Only you can help yourself in this situation by choosing to do what you think is necessary despite how difficult it may be to make that decision. It's never easy to cut someone out of your life especially when you've held some sort of dependence on them for so long, however I think in the long run you'll be happier knowing you were able to move on and take the steps towards something better by not letting it be something that ruins you. Think of it like this though, without having to worry about a significant other it allows you to have time for yourself so that you can improve upon your own well being as well as it gives you time to maybe do things you may not have had a chance to do before. With my most recent break up it has given me so much more time to manage my own well being and also pursue my passions in music while still being able to spend time with my friends.

Girl, drop that "man" like a hot potato! You are a human being, not a doormat, therefore, you should kick him in his nuts! How do you get over such a major life-altering event? Anything you can do to get by. #1 healer for heartbreak is TIME. Yes, I said it! It takes time to emotionally recover, so whenever you DO meet "Mr. Right", you'll be a better/stronger person. You'll be able to handle something like a cheating dumbass because you've already touched that base. There will always be times when you find yourself alone. Yes, it sucks, and INDEED it is painful, but is getting hurt repeatedly, manipulated, and toyed around like some kind of child better than taking at LEAST a few months of solitude?! I think not. A motto that helps me when I down: "Life sucks and then you die! So live it up, who gives a f*ck let's live it up tonight!"-Attila (A band)

@MissallyesterdayI would gladly appreciate that! :3 I really don't have friends here. /hikikomori LOL >.< (thanks for the advice too!) I really feel like I invested so much on this person. And that's why I feel so bad. He took a lot from me emotionally and economically. he even beats me up until now. -.- I feel bad that all my efforts have been put to waste. And think that those would really go down the drain if I let go. Kinda like if I invested in a company in the stock market, the value went down it keeps on going down but if I sell at that point then I lost(that kind of feeling I guess, but I was too naive to consider bankruptcy, after all we all have our limits >.< ). Contrary to what you think, although I used to feel like he's the only one good enough for me, I think I deserve better than that piece of trash. But you're right chances are if I don't let go at all I'd be dragged down more. Or maybe I'm afraid to be alone since I have no friends here :O sorry for the lengthy reply LOL >.<

Letting go is always hard. Sometimes I would get flashbacks of me exes and it really cuts deep and hurts.. But then I think about why we broke up and even if I feel like shit ATM it will pass maybe not get better but pass... I tried so hard and in the end it didn't work out and she broke up with me 2 years same as you. I felt I deserved better too but at the same time I didn't want to let go because there were some genuinely good moments. Idk if that is similar to what you're feeling since we all have different experiences but I tried to relate since that's how I empathize and relate x.x...but being manipulated and stepped on is never healthy... I mean I experienced it and it sucked like it was hell and the stupid part was I still loved her..ya relationships can suck I had to give myself a loonnng time before I felt ready again then I ended up breaking up with my next gf... Life life... Wow I feel better after writing that

@Toe what you said <3 makes a lot of sense it makes me want to cry. that's exactly how i feel! Since I don't have friends here IRL I'll just study and hangout here more often :)) @Moose of Mibu What doesn't kill me makes me stronger eh? :D how can I forget that! thanks for reminding me. Kicking him in the nuts just won't do. He doesn't even have balls. :)) @purbluyelloorange yukixl dude I don't even know how to feel anymore about the guy. Atleast you felt love for the one who betrayed you(I don't think that's better though, as it sounds more painful) I know I don't love him anymore(I think). We did have good moments... sort of? like going on dates and shit that I pay for. I did enjoy the activity of dating, cuddling but not the person whom I was with. In the first place this relationship never made sense :)) Time to let go and move on! we can do this! :))

It's easy for everyone else to pretty much tell you like it is and what you should do but to be honest you won't do any of them until you realize you've had enough and want and deserve better. Do a bit of research on your own, you already know this guy isn't great, you know he isn't making you feel better let alone treating you right and never has if he was cheating on you etc. write yourself a list and read it to yourself the reasons on why you want to stay with him and the reasons why you don't and shouldn't. But these things really have to impact you more so than they are now. Think about it and get your mind working and soon enough you will let him go and you won't look back. It kind of took me 7 years myself to get out of a shitty relationship that was really unhealthy for me and it really shouldn't take that long at all. Attachment is very very difficult to get rid of when it comes to someone you were genuinely fond and loved and especially invested time into but we pretty much do that with anyone it's always so difficult when we're let down and feel like we wasted so much effort and time on one person but it really isn't wasted because you've learned new things along the way too. But find things that you CAN get attached to that are healthy and make you happy stay with those things and enjoy them- spend time with people who love and care for you and definitely make yourself laugh and give yourself opportunities to meet new people in your life! Rekindle old friendships etc do something fun seriously and let this guy go when you know it's time and when you've made that choice. It is easier said than done but you can do it. Hang in there hun you can do it, don't waste anymore of your precious time on someone who takes you for granted. You are worth more than that.

My suggestion is to find someone who is worth your time and start investing in a relationship with someone who won't run you through the gutter.

Going into a relationship is an investment. I totally get how you feel, it's all those years and all that effort down the drain. You had a good thing at one time I hope. But, like Toe said I think you'll be happier in the long run. I'm gonna ask my buddies about some guys there. I hope you can make a lot of friends mine all scattered all over. I know a good guy but he's in Tokyo! I think he'd like you. He tends to like every girl. Lol （≧∇≦）I hope you make some friends though really. It'll be good for you to go out and socialize, even just a hello to someone. Baby steps till you feel comfortable. Also, don't worry about a lengthy reply! (^-^)/ I do lengthy replies all the time.