Bettering Yourself

So for as far back as I can remember I'm always looked in the mirror and thought, "Who's that ****** sack of ***** guy over there? I wouldn't date that loser if I were a girl." Yeah real fucking self hating huh? It's cool though cause I've finally taken steps to make myself better so I can break free from that thought process. Changed my bad habits, clothing style, hygiene and in the end I can finally say I feel good about myself. Not that that helps me at all in my confidence with the elusive female otaku but hey, baby steps. So my question is this: How many of you are unhappy with yourself? Have you decided to take a step to better yourself? And if not why? Oh and I've seen the same crap over and over again stating, "I don't care how I look and I'll wait for someone who loves me for who I am." I don't want to hear that shit, that's defeatist talk in my opinion. How can you expect someone to love you if deep down when you look in the mirror you hate X about you. I'm not going to date someone who doesn't put any effort into themselves and don't you dare call me shallow. If I could work to better myself so can you. Also if your in AL/GA area and wanna better yourself I'll work with ya ^_^/

It's not about being shallow its about knowing the person cares about his or herself and loving his or herself so then nothing destroys that image. Knowing you feel good about yourself shows you have backbone and don't care what people say that's what its about confidence

With me, I don't think I really need to change, but I always feel like no matter what I do, I'm never "good enough" for someone. I always treated the guys I liked/loved really great. I gave them space, saw them, made effort to be with them. Always in the end, I'm making the most effort. So for now, I think I will try to only keep up equal efforts...And if they stop putting effort in me, I'll have to stop too. I have low confidence in myself since that's happened too many times to me. D: But I do put effort in myself when I'm with someone, but I get so scared now. I don't see you as shallow because I understand where you're coming from. There were guys I was with that wouldn't put effort in themselves for their flaws. With me, I tried to stop my flaws and stuff. I would try to apologize for things I thought I did wrong. The guys just stopped caring about me in general. Or they wouldn't talk about the problems they had...When we could work it out. I'm a really an open and honest person about these things and if someone can't be open and honest with me too, I just can't deal with that. So that's what I'm most confident in by speaking out how I really feel. I don't beat around the bush like most people do. It's annoying when people avoid you to avoid questions. I'm not a scary person. I can be understanding too. So what I can relate with you with this is those kind of people don't give us a chance.

Like for example say someone does improve on looks education etc, All of a sudden people that didn't acknowledge them then now acknowledge them now what kind of crap is that

For me, I go for attraction and personality. I dated someone who was cute, but we had nothing in common..I can't be with someone who doesn't have anything in common with me. xD But here's an example: I see someone as attractive but my friend doesn't. We all see people differently from what they appear. So all in all, there's no such thing as an ugly person. Everyone looks different in different views. Kind of like art. I would think this painting is really good while some people don't. Or I would not like an artwork and other people do. But for those people who mainly go for looks and not personality..I don't understand them. That's also why I'm so picky to who likes me as well. ^^; I just want to love everything about the person just like how they would love me for me too.

I used to be like that in middle school looking in the mirror etc, then I decided to change things up. I'm fine now, plenty of friends, got over shyness, can talk to any girl with no issue. Its all about going for what you want guys. If something doesnt work one way, why not find another way to go about it. I'm still the same person I've always been. Just that I lost weight, went out and talked to people, and focused on my studies. Anyone can do it :P @Prism I was in a relationship like that. Completely one sided. Its a pain but not all of them out there are like that.

i think there is always something that could be improved about myself and im always trying to improve. What ive majorly changed was my room cleanlyness, helping out around the house, smiling more often, always asking if there is something i can do, and the major one.... when its pms time i do not chew heads off and make people run screaming in fear.

Ah yes, the "recovering beta" phase. Rule of thumb is to basically just love yourself. If you do that, it will show through your personality and body language. Nobody wants a self-pitying, needy person, neither as a friend or partner. It's not because people lack compassion, but because people already have enough to deal with, and that would just be more baggage. You're an adult, so people expect you to act like one. Basic hygiene is a given though, obviously.