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Sex while dating?

karimoon
Aug 27, 10 at 11:47pm
I went through & read every post and I must say it seems like a heated conversation here one that I would normally just mosey on by. But I saw something I didn't like. I'm not in attack sequence so I do not wish to be labeled as such or I will very much so go into attack mode. First off to answer the first post: it feels good, for me it makes me feel loved for however long it lasts but it isn't the determinant in my relationships, we do have a in-ground biological need/want for it otherwise we'd be classified in the plant kingdom or animal that is not mammalian. Secondly: married couples can get diseases if a partner steps outside of the marriage, sex within one doesn't guarantee the couple is happy or will remain together, rushing into a marriage because you think you love someone & want to give up that 'gift' is not the best idea, children born inside marriages aren't always happy & not everyone who has a child outside of one is a terrible parent who doesn't want or love the kid to death.
karimoon
Aug 27, 10 at 11:49pm
Thirdly: don't do something you don't want people to do to you. I don't appreciate being 'labeled' as someone who doesn't have self-respect, principles, convictions etc. I have enough of these to share with every woman on the planet who sits around & lets a man beat on them because they 'love' him. That's not love sex or no sex! Some people aren't attacking (Ikkuko could be a bit more gentle), but they do feel offended by what sounds like religious bull we've listened to all our lives whether you just see it as beliefs or not just be a little more mindful of it next time. Lastly: if you view it as a gift that's your thing but that doesn't make people who don't wrong & making statements like "sex before marriage is just flat-out wrong" will start arguments in person or over the net & is actually disrespectful. Who says it's wrong? If it's a personal belief that's fine, but it doesn't make it 100% truth either as each person has their own beliefs/truths.
karimoon
Aug 27, 10 at 11:50pm
I try to get to know the male I'm interested in whether the sex comes first or not, if he's not interested in me, oh well I move on, no use crying over spilt milk. If I love him & he loves me it will be that much better & we can discuss wedding plans throughout if it's moving in that direction & if it's not, oh well we have what we have the papers saying married are not a cure all. I go at it like a rabbit, usually with the person i'm dating, because I like it, it feels good to me & I want to express my complete trust & love in that person. That's what I believe & there's nothing wrong with it.
tader_salad
*sigh* Karimoon marry me hehehe. Seriosly though well said.
phanari
Aug 28, 10 at 8:27am
No, there's nothing WRONG with it at all, I, persoanlly feel that sex is something you should wait until marriage for though. Not for any religious convictions (though I'm a devout Christian, I don't fear that my actions will condemn me since I share God's Freedom), I have come to it personally with my own principals that marriage is Special and sacred and should be treated as such. I mean, for instance, I have a friend who lived with her boyfriend for four years and had a child with that man. He left her recently and they both began to see other people. Well, on top of her only income being child support wince she medically can't work....she's pregnant again and not exactly sure who the father is. -.- And then, I have another friend who (bow) shares my same comvictions, but once didn't and lived a secular lifestyle for one evening, they now have an STD. Oh, and did I fail to say that this one friend had her tubes tied, and the other was wearing a condom?
karimoon
Aug 29, 10 at 12:02am
And would marriage have saved her 4 year relationship & prevented that man from walking away or that STD from happening? Nope, it happens shit happens, that's life. Married couples get knocked up unexpectedly too and gonnoreah doesn't know what a shiny $20,000 ring & some legal papers mean. I also am christian & sex is special to me as well I treat it as such with the person I love whether they give me a new shiny blingy object or not. And I just wanted to point out (because I was specifically referencing that post in my previous post) that your first statement is changed. In a previous post you did say it was wrong.
phanari
Aug 29, 10 at 1:17pm
I suppose the proper word would've been foolish then. My apologies. :)
kurokame
Aug 29, 10 at 6:33pm
Well I think this debate balances around two major points society's view of sex and then the differences between the traditional male and female views or judgements on sex. With society's view you have the conflictions of what our religion, culture, friends, and families dictate as the poper attitude to have in regard to sex which rarely match up,then you have the typical gender catch22, men being defined by there number of sexual partners and females being defined by there lack there off. Example:Cliche: The man with tweenty some sexual conquest is the hero all male aspire to and the women with the same number of sexual partner is the town harlot. the man with no sexual exp is frowned upon and the women at level 100 is also frowned upon. Which all is completely irrelevant. The act of sex reguardless of pretext only serves one purpose,reproduction. love, marriage ,pleasure be damned Because they all fall in to the category of systems, motivations and chemical manipulations to ensure the continuance of humanity
kurokame
Aug 29, 10 at 6:38pm
that being said there is no right or wrong when it comes to sex just perferances,different favors for different people, Wouldnt the world be boring if there was only one type of Ice cream?
phanari
Aug 29, 10 at 9:51pm
Explaining sex like that makes it sound purely scientific. Which it isn't. It's also emotional. Whether or not people want to believe this, our bodies only react to certain emotions which stimulate the body. Ergo, it's also emotional, because without the emotion to fuel this, the body would be nothing.
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