dare? https://wx3.sinaimg.cn/mw690/87d788b2ly1frcd69x6zcj20qi0qoace.jpg

I have a nerve disorder from a surgery that causes constant chronic pain. Friends really do go by the wayside when you have a chronic illness. I think it's difficult for them to know how to treat you, so they just sort of slip away. Also, anytime you just try to talk about it, people hear it as complaining, even when it's not. I've definitely felt the sting of loneliness since this happened. I like to think I've always cherished friendship, but I definitely appreciate friendly people now more than ever. Anime has always been fun, but it provides me with quite a bit of comfort now. I actually found this site on google while searching for ways to make online friends. So far, everyone has been very pleasant here. :) I have a tendency to be way too comfortable as a shut-in, so I think it's important for me to try and have contact with people who enjoy some of the things I enjoy.

How do I deal with my depression? I write, and write, and write and just when I think my hand is about to fall off because I've written so much, I write some more. I've tried bottling it all up inside but alas that didn't work and it only made it worse. I even tried denying the fact that I was even depressed in the first place. Then when I finally did acknowledge and accept the fact that it was apart of me, I told my closet family members who responded with the worst thing possible. "You're not depressed. You have nothing to be depressed about. You've got everything you could ever possibly want. A family that loves you. Friends. You're doing great in school. You have a roof over your head, and food in your belly. What's left to be depressed about?" What is left to be depressed about? The fact that though I was doing well in school I still felt unfulfilled in life? The fact that I felt I was alone in the world without anyone that would ever truly understand the way that I felt? The fact that I've got anxiety that is SO BAD that I practically shut down at the idea of hanging out with friends that I've known for years? But that was years ago and a lot has changed. Like I said I've started writing again. Which was something that I really loved to do but when the year 2012 rolled around, I just kind of stopped. I lost all interest in it and didn't want to do it anymore. I've picked up drawing. Albeit I'm not good at it. At all. But it's a hobby that I enjoy so very much. On top of all that I've began to read books again and music keeps me sane. I still have days where I feel down and out on luck, but those days are far and few in between.

OwO No need to worry about that then. I don't feed trolls. I don't be trolling. I hate drama since I've had enough of it in my life. I am a law abiding citizen! :D