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Why go from romanticly interested to friends with benifits?

xxkanakannaxx
Okie, so I was with someone I had a crush on for a very long time. Well we got in a relationship for about two weeks and then all the sudden he decided he just wanted to be friends. So I left him alone till it got to the point I couldn't take it anymore. I had to talk to him, and before I know it I'm his little little friend with benefits thing...T_T....It was my fault as much it was his, and I allowed myself to be so stupid. It was also the first time I ever did anything with anyone sexually. I just wanted it to be him because I cared so much for him..Now though I am in love with him..It also sucks because I told him how I felt and he was so sweet about the whole thing. Hes not a ass whole honestly hes the nicest guy Ive ever been with. I feel I have caught him at the worst time in his life...I just want to move on..Its just been the hardest thing I think I have ever been through....:/ I just want to know have any of you been in the same position? Have any of you ever just wanted sex from someone and such? If so can you guys give me some insight on it?
mroneill1000
well i never went for the friends with benefits thing cause when i saw my friends doing it it just seemed so cold
xxkanakannaxx
Its not...T_T Its something I will never allow myself to do ever again!!
mroneill1000
the only two things you can do is ask him to be your boyfriend or sever all connection no matter how painful these are the only things ive ever witness have a happy ending
xxkanakannaxx
Yeah...I guess you are right...:/ I haven't been talking to him here at all..I just can't take it anymore. So I guess that is the best thing to do! ^_^
mroneill1000
probably going to feel like your hearts been ripped out of your chest and from as little as i know i can tell you deserve much better than him so hold your head up high get straight back out there and find the right guy that will make him seem like a jerk oh and keep smiling :)oh and it may be hard to hear but he was probably using you the sweet thing might have been an act i dont know but as an outsider looking in on other people that was usually the case hence why i think its cold.but i suggest giving this thread some time and see what other people think.might get someone with first hand experience good luck.no matter what happens dont give up the right person is out there.
yuusaku_godai
<font color="red"><strong>Well XXKanaKannaXX, there's a fine line with it comes to being "FWB" with someone. FWB is a "No strings attached" (NSA) relationship. You never want to invest emotions into it. When you strip away religion, emotion (love), and/or morality, sex in its' primal state is mechanical. <P> Now everyone has their beliefs and opinions what sex is or what it means to them and that's fine. I don't want to offend anyone on here so sorry in advance but: I do think sex is purely separate from love. When you add emotions it certainly can enhance it. <P> Now when you are in a FWB relationship with someone you can't cross that line when you start loving (or already in love) and introduce those feelings in sex otherwise I think you get attached in the wrong way with someone. Sex usually isn't the best foundation for a relationship so if feelings sprout-up from that you need to nullify that feeling immediately. Otherwise you easily set yourself up for pain if things go south.<P> </strong></font>
yuusaku_godai
<font color="red"><strong>However both people do like each other than why not try to set it up to the next level? I think when you're dating someone then it's more appropriate for emotions to blossom and convey that in sex. <P> I believe if 2 mature adults want to have sex, then great, go for it! I think sex is great and everyone should have sex. So if you function in a FWB, great. Just be careful with your emotions. Keep them in check otherwise you defeat the purpose of a FWB/NSA relationship. Now it isn't for all and if you don't feel comfortable with it then don't do it. If you are gonna be having sex, have sex when you feel appropriate (even if you want to wait until marriage). Just don't have "stupid sex". That's my opinion on the matter.</strong></font>
uglymod
No strings attached is a cop out for people who do not want to put effort into a relationship. @godai, Making love is different than having sex. Making love involves a long lived passion having sex is short term I.E. infatuation. There is a difference.
xxkanakannaxx
Yeah I get what you all are saying. I honestly tried to numb myself as much as I could. I honestly wouldn't of done It for anyone else. I wanted to have sex with him, but I knew it was because I loved him too. Not saying sex is the ultimate way to show someone you love them, but I did want to do it with someone I cared about. I did let it be on my terms, and I tried to state this before I am not the victim. I am hurt, yes, but I did do this by my own choice. I don't regret the things we did honestly. I am a bit happy I chose to do so with him I just want more than that in my heart. I can move on and find someone worth everything eventually. I'm just broken hearted at the moment and I am just trying to pick myself back up! Thank you guys for your insight. I do agree Micheal! There is a big difference in just sex, and love making. He defiantly wasn't a ass to me and made things rude and sloppy. Its just he had some bad relationships, and he had just got out of a bad break up when we started talking...So I think I caught him at a very bad time in his life. So best thing for me to do is just give myself time, and move on and find someone I think would be worth it again. ^_^ and Yuusaku these feelings were defiantly there waaaay before we did anything. I crushed on him for like 8 months straight.. I've never in my life been so badly into someone ever!!! Its so weird!
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