Confessions

X_X Sorry about that. I was about 90% sure the way I spelled it was wrong but I just posted it and thought if I did spell it wrong which I was almost certain then you'd probably correct me and tell me the right way ^^; But it is I must admit nice to see you again >:O) Have you been doing okay? Also do you prefer to go by Ohnoes now?

i confess i for the first time in mt 27 years on planet earth i wanna get high as fuck i have never been so stressed out about anything in my entire life my girlfriend keeps pressuring to go to her grandmas retirement party and i really don't feel comfortable going im not big on parties so i said i wasn't going i always try to do my best in the relationship i listen to her vents i try to make her feel appreciated i take her out even though im not outgoing i give her money when she needs it i even offer to pay for her tuition so she could go back to school point is i try to be there for her as much as possible and the one time i said no to something she tries to give me shit by saying "Dont make me cry dude" for a while now i been feeling like the relationship isn't what it used to like i still care for her and stuff but i notice more and more how she just wants me to do things she wants me to be like her friends boyfriends and i just can't because her friends are retarded thots dating fuckboys but anyway after she said she wanted to cry i sent her this text: "Babe I'm sorry but honestly I have been stressing out about it since before my parents left because I have no idea how it's gonna be I don't like parties I don't even go to my family's birthdays and dinners and shit because I just sit there waiting for it to be over I tried going to Carlo's birthday last year and I left really quick because I didn't wanna be there yeah the people were nice the food was good I'm sure your family is great but I just don't feel comfortable with parties and socializing and all that shit why do you think I kept saying maybe the whole time because I kept thinking in my head fuck is gonna be awkward ask fuck same as when you came over for my birthday I honestly wasn't comfortable with you there because I knew something was gonna go bad and it did my dad was shit face drunk but I did it because of you and them not me because if I had not done it they were going to keep asking and for you so that you knew that I wasn't ashamed of you being my girlfriend I hate get-togethers I don't know why but I do I always have I never went to a school dance not even prom my friends know not to invite me anywhere because I'm most likely not gonna go if there is other people there I go out with Carlos because it's only him and me no one else is going with us anywhere so I don't have to feel all awkward around people I tried to go out with you guys together but it doesn't work out you guys don't even talk to each other and it's fucking uncomfortable I like spending time with you before I feel safe with you when it's JUST YOU AND ME I feel like time literally stops and all the bad shit in my head goes away for that one moment and that's why I take you out even though I hate going places because the way you make me feel makes it all worth it even though you hate the movies I like and I'm never going be able to say hey babe come watch this anime with me or you never gonna understand why the orange hoodie you hate so much means a lot to me because cartoons are for kids or hey babe let's go to this convention and dress up together because you are not a nerd I wanna cry too sometimes you know? Because other than shitty parents and a wheelchair we have nothing in common like yeah we make each other feel like we matter to someone else and we both like Riverdale but that's it I know you want me to go out and be social and get along with your friends and family and all that but I'm not a people's person just like you're not a comic book fan or and anime fan I understand that and I am ok with that so why can't you just be ok with the fact that I don't like parties and people and socializing? Like every time you say I need to go out more because I need to tan or whatever I I say no and you say you're gonna change that YOU CAN'T CHANGE IT because I am antisocial people make me uncomfortable as fuck it's who I'm it's not your fault that's just me so just accept me as I am ok? You're depression drives me fucking nuts sometimes but I try to understand that it's a part of you and try to help you deal with it as much as I can even though it makes me wanna put my head through a wall when you get all gloomy I'm still here even if sometimes you make me wanna cry too. Night" saying how she hates on everything i love including my best friend and my goku hoodie but some how she manages to disregard everything i wrote and made the whole thing about herself again without acknowledging the problem anyway i need some weed

@Cero, That's ok, at least you can hear. Aku, Dont stress so much, life really is much to short for that. Thing is, if you're going to a retirement party, NO ONE WILL CARE ABOUT OR PAY ATTENTION TO YOU. In other words, you can play the part of wall flower AND be there to appease your girlfriend. So, so many times must I do this for my wife and have I done that for past relationships. I'm not a huge fan of my wife's family, thier toxic, to put it lightly and she knows my opinion. But, to cause less friction I have to be at least amicable and see them from time to time, even more so with my new born son. It's a cliche of a pain for me, but I gotta do what I've gotta do and at least they're not as "Jerry Springer-esque" this year as last year...but I digress. Your problem seems a bit deeper than just not being comfortable with a crowd or certain people. As for her making it about herself? Nah, you're coming across as kind of one sided here. But, it really sounds like you're trying to give reasons on why you're not happy overall. Maybe it's time for a serious talk and not weed(Meh...I know it can help, short term), this is not about some retirement party or having to "socialize "(Come on, it's a retirement party where again NO ONE WILL BE FOCUSED ON YOU.). Honestly, it just sounds like maybe this whole relationship isn't for you, but that's for you to decide.

me: i have so many anime i havent finished also me: oh look chio-chan no tsuugakuro got an anime!

singing and dancing to disney songs while cooking dinner what a nice afternoon ^v^