Possible Arrogance or Pride

I think I might have an issue with my pride or something along those lines. Some people describe me as abrasive. I had a very bad relationship in which I compromised a lot of who I was in order to be with somebody who I thought cared about me but ended up betraying me. It caused me to grow up and become firmer in my self. However I haven't had a relationship since and it is somewhat bothersome. I refuse to try and "pick up" women at a bar because I find the hoops that people seem to jump through when trying to flirt demeaning to both parties involved. I also am probably to picky when it comes to a relationship. This something wrong with me or do I just live in a shitty area for finding women that I find tolerable.

Who really knows? All we can do is speculate. I haven't been in a relationship for a very long time and the last one was bittersweet. We can try to justify why we're single but I'd like to say a lot of it has to do with putting yourself out there whether it be the bars or some sort of social function. I'm almost to the point of giving up and living my life as a hermit otaku. I live in a town of 13k, there's a lot of good looking women here but the ages are spread out and most of them seem to be involved. Good luck on your endeavors though. I'm not sure I answered your question.

all of us on this site have a hard time picking ppl up my fave places to pick up (ideally) wood be a café in a book store, or a library, spark a convo about a book ull meet way better ppl then at a bar :D

my statistic: been true to myself my whole life = been single my whole life most girls don't want me, but instead of telling myself that there's something wrong with me, I say there's something wrong with them (pertaining to me looking for a relationship) I uphold good morals, and I can't be with someone who finds that unattractive I understand the temptation to drop that, and the pain to uphold that. both choices hurt

welcome to life? It is easy to fall victim to our own past and spend every spare moment regretting or over thinking the years gone by as if it will some how change the thing that have already occurred. It is much harder to learn from those things, stop being afraid it will happen again and take another swing. For many it is easy to call such things pride or arrogance. Both from a personal aspect or possibly being judged to be that way by someone else. On one hand it may be a shield that you are using to hide from the chances of being betrayed or hurt ever again. IOn the other it is usually a sign of envy in those that are not willing to sacrifice who they are out of a fear of being alone. At the end of the day, you have to choose where you stand; and learn from it.

If there's one thing I've come to learn, it's that the dating scene is a bit different for geeks/nerds/otaku. There is a very slim chance that you will meet anyone who shares your interests or values at a bar and you shouldn't have to jump thought any hoops to be with anyone. (this would be a sign that the person is manipulative) Tee hee Tum Tums (or Professor Weird or whatever she feels like calling herself on any particular day :P) has got the right idea. The best place to meet like minded people are the places you LIKE to go when you're not actually looking for romance. You just have to keep your eyes peeled for an opportunity to strike up a conversation. Here's the important thing: You have to have the courage to do it. I know it's not easy, but you don't want to kick yourself later when you realize you had a chance but then you blew by doing nothing. (Totally not speaking from experience or anything...) As far as having an abrasive personality goes, you just have to pick and choose your battles. It's not about compromising who you are, but rather deciding what it's worth be concerned about and what it's worth to let something slide slide. No one is perfect. Not even the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. I hope that helps in some way.

I would never suggest going to a bar. I doubt anyone there is looking for a lasting relationship. As for being brassive... is it really a bad thing to see the world in a sharper outlook? Sure, some may not like it but I think its better to have open eyes then to keep the rose colored glasses on. On the other hand you still have to find it in yourself to believe their is still hope that one day you will find the special friendship that will turn into more. Just as its likely that a relationship wont work out, it is also likely it will. So I say embrase your brasiveness but keep yourself open that there are many possibilities. hope that makes sence