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Socially Akward

misaeko
May 25, 13 at 8:17am
I use to be really friendly and outgoing as a kid I remember having lots of friends when I was younger but as I got older and started getting into anime it was all I could ever talk about but a lot of the kids that I went to school with didn't know what it was... Soon I kinda became the weirdo at school and a lot of my friends stop talking to me and started bullying me . Long story shorten since than I've stopped talking to new people so much that i don't know how to talk to people now, in college I've meet tons of people that like anime but its so hard for me to talk to people that i just don't and stay quiet all the time I want to be outgoing and make new friends but I don't know how
jpsniper
May 25, 13 at 1:01pm
Hi there i also had the samething and Cantthinkofabettername is right so the thing is just try to think of anime-like topics to speak about when you feel you want when you hear something anime being spoken out by people...especially at your college soon you gain more confidents about what to say or ask about something anime realated and see how you go from there.....who knows you might find a liking to a certain anime someone else does when he/she says to check it out.
redhawk
May 25, 13 at 3:31pm
same here, have the same problem, but followed most of cantthinkofabettername's advice
silverstar
Well, that sounds super familiar. Hit college, join anime club, don't talk to anyone in it. One thing that works for me is to approach people when they're not in groups larger than two or three. Pick something specific (if you're in an anime club, maybe something a character did in an episode the group was just watching), and ask people what they thought about it. If the conversation doesn't go anywhere, don't try to force it, just let it go and try again with someone else later. By approaching small groups of people (I really prefer people by themselves), you can get the conversation started without dealing with group dynamics as much. Then, once you've become acquainted with a few people, you may feel comfortable joining larger conversations that your acquaintances are part of. Keep in mind that most people who are publicly broadcasting an interest in anime or manga have probably run into social trouble because of it and therefore will hopefully be a little less likely to give you grief over it. Just try to be aware of any tastes you have that might be something of outliers even amongst anime fans or any polarizing issues to avoid as landmines. Net research can help with both of these. Hope this helps. @Can'tThinkOfABetterName For a lot of us, failure is something pretty substantial to be worried about. In my opinion, "Just don't worry about failure, keep trying until you make a friend," is rather useless, despite being good advice, because it doesn't address the root fear of finding oneself ostracized and/or bullied.
silverstar
No, of course not. The point was that I thought in this case, advice about how to talk to people without setting yourself up to for social death might be a little more useful than "Just go out there and do it."
misaeko
May 26, 13 at 12:05am
I tried talking about anime n i became that girl to come to only about anime and comp games
silverstar
Well, what other things do you want to serve as common ground for a friendship? Do you have an interest in fashion, current events, or anything unrelated to anime and other nerdy stuff? In my opinion, the best way to start a friendship is via common ground, whether it's shared interests, shared time (classes, job, etc.), or shared experiences, etc. And I guess sort of related, do you want to make friends with people that you have nothing in common with? That's really hard, because initially you're going to have nothing to talk to them about, unless you can learn their interests by observation and prepare conversation material or something. Attached to this would be the art of smalltalk, which is making conversation out of insignificant things. I'm awful at this, so I won't even try to give you advice. I stick to trying to meet new people that I have something in common with.
misaeko
May 26, 13 at 5:36pm
It's hard because I go brain dead n i can't think of anything to say n if I can It's forced and most people I've talked with can tell
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