Socially Akward

Hah, I used to be very outgoing but the older I got the more I fell apart from the people around me and I sort of became an outcast in my final years of high school and then I more or less just built on that and now I'm quite a recluse. Going outside and talking to people is something I fear, the thought of being rejected or being made fun of is quite overwhelming to me. When I first meet people I'm beyond socially awkward but as I get more comfortable I become less socially awkward and more normal. It's only those first couple of interactions that are really bad for me.

I used to be pretty shy and have a hard time talking to people. However I've always become more talkative after actually meeting someone. I usually always struggle on the very first few steps and then continue to grow more comfortable as I progress. Nowadays, I'm much more open, but still have a hard time talking to people whom I cannot relate to. However if it comes down to general life discussions and the like, I'm always able to engage in the conversation.