Too Nerdy for normal dating.

@bookwatcher - Agreed. Nothing is worse then trying to introduce someone to the culture when they have never even seen it. So its nice to have a common ground to start at, and then see where it takes you. My suggestion would be however, above ALL else is be yourself. In real life, image rules and impressions are made based upon it. Rarely if ever do they live up to the expectations, and that is when the problems begin. Here however, you can bypass that and get to know someone with out the trappings of 'image'. So don't blow hot air, be who you really are, and you never know what might happen.

Ｐｌｅａｓｅ　ｄｏｎ’ｔ　ｒｅｆｅｒ　ａｓ　ｎｅｒｄ　ｏｒ　ｎｅｒｄｙ　ｂｅｃａｕｓｅ　Ｉ　ｔａｋｅ　ｔｈａｔ　ｗｏｒｄ　ａｓ　ａｎ　ｏｆｆｅｎｓｅ　ａｎｄ　Ｉ　ｇｅｔ　ｔｏｕｃｈｙ．　Ｂｕｔ　ｈｅｙ　ｔｈａｔ’ｓ　ｈｏｗ　ｔｈｅ　ｗｏｒｌｄ　ｉｓ　ｔｏ　ｍｅ．　Ｊｕｓｔ　ｌｉｋｅ　ｌｉｖｉｎｇ　ｄａｒｋ　ｂｌａｎｋ　ｗｏｒｌｄ　ｗｈｅｒｅ　Ｉ　ｆｅｅｌ　ｏｕｔ　ｏｆ　ｐｌａｃｅ．

Xueli, I think a lot of what it comes down to is that there's a point where a hobby becomes a lifestyle--where it becomes one of your defining traits, or at the very least is enough of a passion that you feel like you're missing out on something if you can't share it with the person you love. This is true of plenty of other subcultures as well--renfaires, for example. Actually, I shouldn't speak of it as a point so much as a continuum, like sexual orientation (if I can get away with using that analogy). The more and more of a "lifestyle" otaku you become, the less likely it is that your needs are going to be met in a relationship with someone who isn't one, or who can't at least watch and enjoy and talk about it with you.

Very good point Amezuki. Xueli - there really is no difference, just a refined definition based upon an observation; interestingly enough it's almost always a self imposed title. Oh, and I am a Nerd, as well as other things I have been called, some flattering, others....not so much. I am proud of them all; good or bad, they don't define who I am. Only I can do that. Words, no matter what they are, only have the power you choose to give them.

I just don't see how just because someone doesn't label themselves as an otaku, it means that someone who does wouldn't be able to have a common ground. Just because a person isn't as into or just uninterested period in whatever you're into, doesn't mean they can't support you fully in that. I feel like the geek/nerd community in general is kinda hypocritical in that way. By being excluded from what they consider as "normal" society, they in turn, exclude people who don't fit into the image of their group. I don't know. This is why I don't approve of labels, I feel like in a communal sense, it creates a kind of us v them mentality, to various degrees.

I think you misunderstand my meaning. It doesn't matter to me what someone calls themselves, or whether they view themselves as being part of an "otaku lifestyle" or anything like that. Those are just labels. What matters to me is that I'm able to connect with them about the things I enjoy the most and share those things with them. That's a lot more likely to happen with someone who is already involved in anime fandom in some way. I've been in a relationship with someone where I couldn't do that. Where I couldn't really be an active part of fandom without excluding her, where she wouldn't even try reading my fanfic, and where she wouldn't pay half attention to anything but dubbed anime because subtitles required her to look at something other than her laptop. There were all sorts of things in that relationship broken other than this particular disconnect in interests. But it wasn't a nontrivial factor either, in the end. And it taught me a lot about what I do and don't want to have in a relationship.

Xueli - lol, yeah I understand, But I think you might have read into it a bit too much... There is always connection and compromise. It is nice to know that if you have chosen to label your self as an "otaku' that some one else you have meet has chosen to do the same. It's a good Start.

well I think love is very ... in the eye of the beholder I guess you could say. Some people think the Otaku is something more than just a label. It's an identification that someone is a nerd and isn't afriad to show it. Many people that are passionate about things don't label themselves as Otakus simpley because the word has no meaning to them. I believe I'm an Otaku because I got involved with a fellow otaku friend many years ago online and it kinda stuck with me. To me being an Otaku brings warm memories to mind. A connection with a fandom can bring freindships together and even relationships. Though I dont think it's the main factor i look for in a boyfriend because it's more important to me what type of person he is. Doesn't really matter what his passions are about as long as his heart is in the right place, but to me the name Otaku just gives me warmth inside. I feel if there is a boy out there for me he probably is a boy who isnt afriad of showing his passions and being who he wants to be and sharing that passion with me. I think that's whats so beautiful aboutthe Otaku community, the want to get along. It's easier tothink someone who goes through the same feelings as you when they watch the new episode of Watamote online is the one for you because you know that one thing is for sure, they aren't afriad to let it all out. Comfortable. Soothing. Reminds me of a friend. Though I think xueli made a very good point. Otakus can be very mean sometimes about being not as nerdy as they are. As if nobody else understands them.. Sorry for the long post. I really think I've felt like someone questioned if i was a real otaku with criticism. Otakus can be mean sometimes. Not gonna lie.