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Abusive relationships.

soulxevans
This is a serious one guys. What if a girl I am interested is in an abusive relationship? I've never talked to her but my friend knows her and apparently she is in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship that she is scared to get out of. I'd love to ask her out but I'm not trying to get killed, and even though I don't know her I'm worried about her safety, lastly if I did ever decide to do anything and I had proof of any abuse how would I go about presenting it to the authorities in a way that would get her out of the situation and would make sure he doesn't come back to kill her or anyone she's with? This is a tough one guys what do you think? How would you handle an abusive relationship you were in? If your life was in danger would you do anything or just let your self keep getting hurt? Is there even a good way out of this situation? I'm not trying to take advantage of her because she has been taken advantage of before by someone I know (he is my ex boss and a complete douche I left my first job because of him but that's a different story) I'm not that guy if anything if I was strong enough or had the authority I'd love to be the "white knight" i guess you'd call it or I guess I'd like to call it the Simon character after Gurren Lagan, but I have know idea what to do and even if I didn't like her I really wish I could get any person out of that situation because no one deserves that. Honestly anyone who uses their power corruptly or to control those weaker than them sickens me stupid control freaks. O_O
animecountryboy
If you have hard proof(pictures of marks on her body from being hit or she currently has a mark visible) you should definitely bring them to the police station immediately. Make sure she has a safe place to to go(family/friends) to stay at and don't let him learn where she is.r Domestic violence is a serious crime. If i knew of a situation of it i would report it right away. If you don't have hard proof things much be handled more delicately. No matter what report it to your local PD in good faith. Try and get her to stay at her parents or at a friends house for a few days(try and have them invite her over)
ryuseven_0
This is a serious situation remember the actions you decide to take or not take you Will live with for the rest of your life. First, forget that you have feelings for her. That needs to be put in the back burner. Second, call 211 is a service that you can ask for help on this type of situation. They can lead you to experts that can guide you on what to do. If you are serious about helping her you'll have to commit fully to seeing it through. Don't start or get involve if you're not willing to accept the consequences. Doing this half hearted could cause more damage than good. Remember .
animecountryboy
Put all personal feelings aside and think about just the person's well being.
soulxevans
I can agree with putting my emotions a side for now but i still don't know exactly what to do I haven't been told very much about it from her but apparently she has told another friend that he has put a gun to her head at some point so I'm not sure if telling the police will just get her killed or what.
xueli
Jan 05, 13 at 10:13pm
That's a tough situation. In these situations it's really hard to do anything. There's really no good way out. Ultimately it's up to her to remove herself from that situation. If you or your friends try, statistically there's a high likelihood she'll just go back to that relationship. It's one of those times that as friends, there's not much you can do for her. You can all talk to her and try to get her to leave him but if she won't, you have no choice but to see them together or sever your relationship with her. It's also tough in your particular circumstance because it doesn't sound like you're a person she talks to about this and it seems like a lot of what you're hearing is secondhand. I suppose if I were you, I'd let the authorities be aware of it, but in these cases unless she makes the move to leave, you don't really have any options.
kyetge
Jan 05, 13 at 10:17pm
Tip the cops off? Tell them to keep a watch on that guy. Cover your and her ass with all the legal protection you can get, i.e. restrictive orders, etc. But if the cops are involved then that guy's gonna get buttmad that this information was leaked out in the first place. It's pretty much like a hostage situation. :/ You might wanna step off.
kawaiidango
There are a few ways to go about this The first- be stupid and attempt to take on the guy urself eventually getting ur ass handed to u on a silver platter(maybe bronze) Niether of u would be safe well maybe u would after u got beat up The second- tell the cops or anyone who can help, but if the guy finds out it was u who spilled the beans and got his ass arrested then u might wanna write ur will cuz theres a good chance he'll be coming after u when he gets out. The girl will be safe at least for a while, but u may not be The thrird- Keep ur nose out of it. Just dont say anything and let the girl get abused. In this scenario ur safe, but not the girl It's a tough decision if I were in ur shoes I would first try the second way then if that fail the first way(at least I put up a fight)
xueli
Jan 06, 13 at 1:30am
Well here's the thing though, cops can't do anything unless she reports him. Her friends can't cover her 24/7 and even if they do, unless the police see him hitting her, they can't act on what amounts to hearsay that has nothing to back it up. It's all on her. And it doesn't sound like you're in a position to convince her to change her mind if all you're hearing is from her friends. As much as you want to help, I don't honestly think you can do much. :/
obsidianpolymath
While its true the cops won't do anything. The state usually files a report and opens up a restraining order. Another important thing to know is that it will be on file. Just know that if she has no interest in you at all, and your getting into their personal business that you may well be inserting yourself into a crazy situation.
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