Mommy’s Random Thoughts

(5:26 AM Fri.) I got bored and wanted to do a little more research–before heading to bed–about the part of DC my family and I live in (I guess I decided since we've been here for 14 years, why not get a read up on it just now lol). I started by looking up if the part we are in is considered ghetto (I really was bored sksksk) and was, for some reason, surprised to see that it is considered ghetto. I found a website talking about the worst parts of DC to live in, and third on the list was Deanwood (me and my family's part of DC), with the articles saying this: "Deanwood is another one of the worst places to live in Washington, DC, due to the extremely high crime rate. Located in Northeast DC, Deanwood has a population of 29,798, and the violent crime rate is 600% higher than the national average. Most of the crime in this neighborhood stems from gang activity, including issues related to gun violence and the drug trade. Crime has steadily risen by 2% every year since 2018 despite having a moderate police presence. In the first half of 2021, DC police recorded 30 robberies, 34 assaults, 27 burglaries, and three murders in the area. The overall chance of becoming the victim of any type of crime is 1 in 12." I don't know why I was kind of caught off guard by that? XD Every other day you can hear police sirens and ambulance sirens blaring because people decide to 'ddu-ddu-ddu-ddu-ddu' it up in the streets (no Blackpink in our area, just gang activity I guess). That and right across the street is the area our housing voucher tried to put our family when my siblings and I were younger, which our parents weren't having due to the pimps and prostitutes littering the streets at night. I guess I was caught off guard because I'm beginning to realize (again) the many ways God has kept me and my family from the many dangers of Deanwood. Cause I know that when my sisters and I were younger, there were plenty men who eyed us creepily when we were kids here, but never touched us. God's grace and mercy is just overwhelming (in a good way) when I think of all He's done for us. ❤️

(12:19 PM Fri.) Just came back from early morning Birthday shopping. We danced with one of the workers in Wegmans, it was fun! But, we went shopping for our Birthday dinner (pizza/wings and fries), appetizers (tempura) and ice cream (cookies n' cream, chocolate nutty cone, cookie dough, etc.) My mom got me chocolate covered almonds and peanuts as a snack and then we ate at Chick-fil-A for brunch. Now I have to get in the shower so my mom can do my hair for our Birthday tomorrow!

Tempura you say? Get out dat sauce! You dip, I dip, we dip! https://static1.srcdn.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/mashle-episode-18-margarette.jpg

(1:14 AM Sun.) Zoom in to see first pic's better. As you can see...out mom lied about only being able to get my baby brother and I just one gift. Her and our dad even managed to get me a tablet! It was something I didn't ask for, but I cried when receiving it, especially knowing how happy it made our parents to be able to get this for us this year. God has truly blessed out Birthday! I have no words, but all I can say is that we had an amazing day.<3

(2:58 AM Mon.) I decided to do a skincare routine before bed with the products I got for my Birthday...skin care is something I've never done before at all because I really suck at taking care of myself. I exfoliated my skin and cleansed my face with the face wash my parents got me this year, then I applied the body oil I also got as a gift, then I applied the lipgloss my eldest sister bought me when we went to the mall yesterday. It turns out the lipgloss is a color changing one, so when I looked up into the mirror, I was surprised to see my lips a deep, rosey pink. I think another thing that shocked me was how I felt good doing that for myself...I even thought I looked pretty, to which I started to tear up and looked away from the mirror. I mentioned before in this thread of mine about how much I've fell out of taking care of myself or doing/wearing the things I've loved as a little girl due to my own insecurities, but simply washing my face made me feel proud and I hope the three year old me would be happy at being pampered like this. I have received many compliments from people who think I'm pretty...but it can be hard to believe it when you don't believe that yourself, and even when/if I do think I am, I feel guilty about it and try to stop thinking I'm pretty or something. I have stated it in another thread before, about how I hope to better take care of myself and to grow past my own mind that holds me back. Maybe this is the start to it? Either way, such a small thing made me really happy and emotional lol, but I thank my sisters for bombarding our parents to get me beauty stuff...cause I don't think I would have ever asked for it myself.

(2:56 AM Tue.) Courage isn't necessarily an absence of things like fear, worry or trepidation. It's about what you are able to do in spite of such heavy feelings, and how you maintain yourself while feeling such emotions. I think...sometimes people are a lot more brave and courageous than they think–and maybe it's just the hope in me speaking? But, I know there are a lot of people who can lack things like courage and bravery, yet I also know there are also many others on the flipside who aren't instinctively courageless...it's just that they get so worn down by their heavy load in life, callousness and a jaded outlook is all they know now. It becomes the new normal to the point where happiness and being/feeling brave is no longer a feeling they remember. I constantly look back on every good moment in my life, to remind myself that things like happiness, courage and perseverance ARE obtainable, and that those ARE things I have felt and experienced before. Pain can only last for so long. I choose to hold tight to every happy and even sad moment, cause it lets me know I still have a heart that feels deeply, and that my joy IS obtainable if I hold on long enough to see it in every waking moment. Well...these are my almost 3 AM thoughts lol. Idk why I thought about such things, but I'm happy.

All I read was Courage and my mind thought about the cartoon. https://theboar.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/courage-the-cowardly-dog.jpeg

(4:14 PM Tue.) Alrighty guys...you know I don't like or care to ask for things from anyone here, just because I don't want anyone to spend their hard earned money on me. However, this is something greatly important to me so, here it is: https://gofund.me/fb76edea I've started a gofundme for our parents anniversary (you can read all about it when you click on the link). But, I'm not asking anyone here for there money, okay? I know how hard you all must work on your jobs for it, but, I am asking if you guys would be willing to share this with anyone at your work or even if you just ordered something to eat XD, be like: "hey, did you know there's *insert fundraiser here*?" Any sort of help would be highly appreciated! I don't wish to inconvenience anyone...but again, any sort of help is needed and appreciated! We only have 5 days, but any sort of finance will be exciting. I love you guys! ❤️ (P.S. I'd appreciate it if no one would cover up this post. I want everyone to be able to see this first, thank you all.)