Giving and Receiving Gifts

People in the past have made similar threads covering this topic. Last of which involved discussions on how to refuse a gift they did not want. In that person's case it was a simple matter of declining cookies and a bottle of wine. That which in my opinion is as simple as taking the gift, thanking the giver, and then passing it along to another. No big deal or fuss. However in my recent case I had someone gift me a 2 year old German Shepherd. Now, I already had two cats and wasn't really in the market for a dog. In general I am not a dog person. That isn't to say I think the animals are bad, but they do require a lot of attention and time. I work 10-12 hours a day upwards of 60 a week. I am not home that often to oversee the animal's needs. In addition this dog had not been to a Vet. That meant I would have to spend at least around $500 almost immediately to get its shots for rabies and of course get it fixed. To make matters even worse the animal wasn't house broken so there was no way of keeping it inside. I could have stuck the dog in my backyard but my fence does have some holes that need patching and could be easily breached if the animal wanted too. Long story short I was not asked ahead of time if I desired another pet and when I attempted to politely decline I was met with rudeness. The person took umbrage with me to say I was a horrible human being for "Abandoning" a STRAY dog in need. They also said I NEED to learn to accept gifts better too. To this date the person has cut all ties with me. The hard part was it was someone I quite liked and had no issues till now. It sadden me to be called a terrible person for letting them down, but again at minimum I was going to have to shell out $500 bucks on this GIFT. Plus I would be responsible for its upkeep for the next 12 to 20 years. It just made no sense why the person made the assumption I was obligated to take in a STRAY animal I knew nothing about or why this individual took it so hard to be belligerent about my polite refusal. What are your thoughts? Again, I like all animals, but I know too when I am not the best person to take care of such creatures.

Thanks. I agree. I don't know why they couldn't do it themselves. Felt like they were pawning off the responsibility but wanted to feel good about "RESCUING" a lost animal. Ya know, "I want the warm fuzzies of doing a good deed by making someone else do the hard work." Either way I did feel sad about having to decline until they called me a disgusting human being.

Yeah, but a pain in my ass all the same. I mean it was a fine dog and very friendly. In some ways had I had more time in advance to prepare I might have been tempted to keep the dog. Yet being given this duty with no warning on a whim just hit me in a bad way. Also knowing how much the other person did not care about what I was comfortable with taking on seemed ignorant. A gift should never be an irrevocable responsibility that locks the receiver into a financial commitment.

That is just ridiculous! To shove a dog on someone like it’s an object is just irresponsible. It’s a huge responsibility to take care of an animal and you have no obligation to take on that responsibility when you don’t want to, that isn’t a “gift,” that’s a burden on you. They should have respected what was your right to say no, they’d be the same type of person to shame you if you took it and then couldn’t take care of it.

Thank you Lolax! What really hit me hard was when this person on their tirade had the audacity to tell me to my face that me not taking in this animal And I shit you not... This person had the fucking balls to say this... I was going to be a failure as a future father to my unborn children because I refused taking it in. That quote "Dogs are like human children and if you can't take care of one you can't the other." I was so pissed I had to walk away for a hot minute just to even respond. My reply to this person being that it was funny that someone with NO children of their own and who was recently unemployed wanted to give me a God Damn lecture on child raising while they bummed off of other's charity. Suffice to say, we both were not happy campers by the end of the evening.

That is a whole new low! They obviously needed this dog off their hands, and wanted to guilt trip you into doing so by throwing around statements like that. They were probably hoping to strike a cord with you so you’d take this animal off their hands. They have NO right to predict how good of a parent you’ll be from one small incident that was their own damn fault. I bet they were jealous of you, since you had it together more than they did. What a rude thing to say to someone! You can be an incredible father and be a horrible pet owner, if the pet doesn’t fit well with you. That was really a harsh statement and going that far means in my opinion that this was no longer about this dog, but something they had with you. They could’ve dealt with this SO much more respectfully, and especially if they regarded you well enough to gift you an animal, but yet didn’t give you common decency, then this person has a lot of work to do on themselves!