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After 7 years, I'm going to say that a girl will not ask me out. What do

upcat

I am 25. I know that, the guy, is the one expected to ask the girl out in my culture (USA), idk if that's true in every culture but If anyone wanted to know how consistent that is here... I have gone 7 years and I have this little itty bitty sneaking suspicion... I'm like 99.99% sure a girl is NOT going to ask me out. so I've been single all that time. I haven't asked any girls out all that time because I decided that I was going to avoid getting involved with anyone until I was making more than minimum wage. Super easy as a guy turns out, all I did was not ask any one out... worked like a dream... : (
Now and finally, I have a good and consistent income, I feel like I'm ready to get real serious about dating. I'm asking for a little help.
SO...
1) how do I know if a girl is interested in me.
2) how do I know if she already has a boyfriend.
3) how do I approach said girl. It's not like I haven't talked to girls, but there is always a common goal (work) or a subject at hand. So how to approach a girl like a cold call.
4) what should I ask...
and finally 5) how do I ask it and without getting immediately slapped.

elizabeth_hart

Well, i'm pretty new to this site and I am also single as well but I've had 3 semi-decent relationships. I'd say if a girl is slightly flirtatious then she might be looking for an equally flirtatious response back but you can't come on too strong or it'll look sexual just...tease...a little but I mean every girl is different so just keep this a little flowy. I think she would tell you she has a boyfriend or not but also if she doesn't do not get mad at the boyfriend for lashing out be calm and reasonable because I'm sure she didn't tell him or he might also be a toxic dick and may abuse her YOU NEVER KNOW so I'd try to stay calm and play the field before getting him worse than he already is (that is if he contacts you or something). And the approach...just fucking be yourself dude if she won't accept how you act then she's not worth looking forward to...but if you admit in your head that the first words you say out of your mouth to her are 100 percent cringy then you are in a sunken ship...So just stay calm because I'm sure nerves are going crazy on first impressions but if you get past that and she calls then your good but it also wouldn't hurt to call them either but don't be persistent I think 2 calls max are enough but make sure they are at least 6 or 7 hours apart. but then again you have to remember ALL GIRLS ARE DIFFERENT. so don't follow this all the way through. But all I have to say is Good Luck and I hope you find the one for you.

naofumi94

I mean I look at it like this ask them out. The worse someone can say is no. You never know until you try. Short and sweet. Now get to know the person first because most of the time it will be a no if it’s out of nowhere of course. I’ve been rejected so many times so a no means nothing to me

swadian

It depends on what you want to achieve buuuuut to gain experience just talk with girls.

Don't hesitate, just go from topic A to B on a small talk of 5 mins, then throw a fastball with something like "I gotta go now -X Bullshit excuse- wanna grab some coffee sometime"

Chances are you'll get regretted most of the times, but, that's not important, what's important is that you'll start building your confidence talking around women, you'll learn how to acknowledge them as people and not as something that is unapproachable.

upcat

edit, adding -> @ALL
Thank you for your response (edit) @elizabeth_hart @naofumi94 @swadian. I suppose I do have trouble being myself, because myself doesn't make casual conversation with anyone except people that I already know... unless it's about web development, animation/movies, or... nope that's about all I know how to talk about. So when a girl tries to talk about what she knows how to talk about with me, ... it dead ends pretty quick, cause I don't know how to carry the conversation, I imagine girls just take that to mean I'm not interested, Because I have talked to many girls, Any tips on that?

swadian

upcat @upcat

Basically what you need to do is to develop more your life.

Feels like you put too much attention to work related business and less towards hobbies.

Read a lot, get some hobbies and interests and do them diligently, once you become good at them you'll have something more to talk about.

Women are just humans, you don't have to treat them as something alien that you need to worship to get an answer, develop your personal life and just let it flow~

elizabeth_hart

Well still consider their feelings too lol but yes have a more developed life and let it flow.

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