A friendly message when you're down.

Everything is going to be okay. Really. It’s going to be okay. Right now the worst is happening, and you feel like it’s your fault. It might be your fault, but that’s not very important. What’s important is that you remember that where you are is temporary, and tomorrow is going to be better. There are people who love you. They loved you before your greatness and they’ll love you after this terrible catastrophe. You are deserving of this love, regardless of how much of what’s happening is your doing. While you wait for it to be okay, remember all the reasons that the world is blessed to have you here. Think of all the times you’ve made people smile. the man at the grocery store, your neighbor during garbage night and the woman at work you talk to even when you’re tired. Think of all the times you did the right thing, the best thing, the thing we needed done. Think of times when it went right and when it felt good. Think of the times when things will go right again. Don’t think about how you could have done better, made smarter choices, been a better version of yourself. Those are all impossibilities. In the present time, we are always the best version of who we have become and to wish anything different is to fall victim to the attractive lie that our mistakes are a result of our shortcomings. Everything will be okay <3

"Luii, how are you feeling today? Are you controlling your emotions?" My emotions are mixed. My heart is pounding, racing, scared, shocked.. all I do is smoke everyday to get rid of all the negative thoughts I think of. I smoke to numb my emotions. I smoke to blind my vision. I can't talk to my friends about how I feel because who wants to hear about your feelings? When I feel suicidal I keep it to myself because if I share it with someone so they can calm me down, all I hear in my head is that "She won't do it, people say they're going to kill themselves all the time but yet they don't do it."

"Luii, what are your coping skills?" I would love to tell you my coping skills is weed but you would send me to get drugged up on pills for me to think it's "bad."

"Luii, what's wrong with you?" Everything little gets to me even though it shouldn't. My heart is soft. One little word with make is crack even worse but I try hiding it so no one thinks I'm a little pussy. I want to be cool and act tough. Yes I said "Act" because I want to be one even though in the inside i'm not so I have act like one.

"Luii, shut up for fucks sake. No one honestly cares about how you feel. Just go on and do something with your disgraceful life." As you say, Luii.